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8 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Maltese Medical Student

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1. January and June are ‘full moon’ months

Basically, every medical student undergoes a pretty werewolf-like transformation during exam months. And they don’t change like all other students would (i.e. coffee-fuelled hobos), they go full savage.

Even the nice ones do it, there is no escape. Have a chocolate constantly handy, and make sure your January and June is packed with events – they’re gonna get lonely.


2. They have an extremely strong stomach

When your first year of studies involves a bunch of loose organs floating in stinking formaldehyde, you learn how to take your lunch break in the presence of just about anything.

They will speak to you about a collapsed black hole in the middle of someone’s thigh, with pus all the way to the bone – and they’ll probably do it while you’re enjoying your breakfast.

Jeoffty Sick

3. They’re either always sick

Diagnosing themselves with far worse conditions than what they actually have (because their symptoms align). A natural side-effect of being forced to study things that kill people on a daily basis.


4. Or never sick

“Trust me, I’ve seen worse – I’m fine.” Doctor who refuses to admit they have a cold because they deal with cancer on the daily and those two facts are somehow related.

Flesh Wound

5. The sex can get very weird

“There’s a time and a place for medical analyses, and the bedroom (and/or car) is not one of them” – a fact most medical students will forget at some point, usually when they’re near your junk.


6. But also very good

There’s no denying that sometimes having all the trade secrets of exactly what’s happening down there can be a serious advantage.


7. They may not be home all the time

And don’t think it’s just the five years of med school – oh no. The madness never ends. Every year is just one step closer to being one course closer to being the doctor they hope to be. Working, studying, or doing both at the same time – there isn’t going to be a lot of time left over for thumb twiddling.


8. But they’re there when you need them

… except during January and June. We’re kidding calm down! 

Of course they’re gonna be there for you, and if you’re dating a med student you have a lot of perks. Your own personal GP, a significant other who’s well connected and a lifetime with someone who spends their days helping others – pretty sweet deal all in all.


Tag a friend who needs to read this right now!

READ NEXT: 21 Moments Every Medical Student Will Recognise

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