8 Ways Malta Mercilessly Murders Your Monday Mood
Mondays are a beautiful time of stress, anger and frustration, which is exactly what we all want after our weekend me-time.
But apart from the general discomfort that comes with having to function as a semi-decent human once again, Malta tries really hard to kick us while we’re down and make our Mondays even harder than they need to be.
Here are eight things that achieve this with total ease.
1. Good morning, here’s a strong smell of trash
Here, we might need to share the blame.
On one hand, we could, in theory, have woken up a little earlier to make sure we got the rubbish bags out on time. But on the other, they trucks pass before we’ve had time to not hate everything around us, and now there’s a day old bag of smells waiting in somewhere around our house. And that’s not how you want to start your day.
Just pray no guests show up unannounced.
2. Traffic. So. Much. Traffic.
Look, if you know anything about me or Malta, you know exactly why this is on this list.
Honking horns, worriedly checking the time and passive aggressive texts from your boss are precisely not what the doctor ordered for your first-morning commute of the week. At least there’s only four more days of this exact process right? *crying intensifies*
3. Boiling blood (no, literally)
Again, if you know anything about Malta, you should have expected the summer heat and sunshine to find their way onto this list.
And can you blame us for complaining that Satan has decided to rain hellfire onto our land out of pure seasonal spite? Didn’t think so. But hey, we only have four more months of this right? Yeah, don’t expect it to get fresh just because the season changes in October.
4. Children
This one may be a bit more situational.
The innocent laughter of small kids can be quite therapeutic, but the argumentative complaints of “I don’t wanna go to school” and “I want ice cream for breakfast” are most definitely not.
5. Construction… of course
Kind of a hot topic at the minute, but I’m sure no one enjoys the daily struggle of discovering that your everyday route is suddenly closed for whatever reason, and now not only do you have to find a new way to go, you also have to deal with the traffic this will cause and the fact that you’re going to be late again.
Are you noticing a pattern here?
6. Horn Hatred
This one goes out to all those unlucky people who happen to live in the areas where Mondays are gas truck days.
I’m sure having your ears assaulted by the sharp blast of the truck horn that we all know a little too well is much more annoying on a Monday than it is for us privileged week-lings.
7. Moaning and groaning? Thanks, I guess
Arriving in the morning with a foul mood only to hear your co-workers or classmates moaning about their own stress is quite (very) annoying.
So you’ve spent an hour in traffic, great. I was woken up by a jackhammer performing a death metal cover of Beethoven’s fifth, and I do not stan.
Staying on both complaining and construction for a minute, may I give a special FU to jackhammers. Not the people using them – I’m sure they’re lovely and don’t get paid enough to be working at 7am – but Beelzebub’s drill gets no pity.
8. The moment you log in to your computer for the first time that week
After all the stress of getting to work, when you finally sit down and turn on your computer, you will most likely be greeted by the tons of emails or issues that went completely ignored over the weekend. Have fun with that!
