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The 9 Painful Stages Of Waking Up Late For Work In Malta

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Whether you have absolutely no problem waking up for work or you’re a horrible morning person, we’ve all had at least one painful episode of waking up late.

It might be your alarm clock magically not going off. It might be a nationwide conspiracy by the Maltese government to have you go in late for work. Whatever it is, though, here are nine stages every Maltese person goes through after they realise they’re up way later than planned on a workday.

1. “Dal-fuckin’ temp ta’!”

Sicknesses, traffic jams… Maltese people manage to blame the weather for practically everything. And waking up late is definitely no exception.

2. Trying to drastically decrease the time you spend getting ready

Getting ready in the morning might’ve taken you the exact same amount of time for the last three years, but you suddenly decide you’re going to be able to half that.

Good luck and Godspeed… and be careful not to end up with the weirdest outfit ever.

3. Writing up a quick excuse on your phone to send to your boss

You might have an arsenal of these already stacked up, in which case you have to be careful not to use one you already have before.

The question is, will you actually say it like it is, or will you come up with some stupid story about how you had to drop by your nanna’s first to pick up some soup she cooked for the family?

4. Suddenly remembering Malta’s roads are going to make all of this 10 times worse

Ahh, shit.

You could’ve gotten ready in record time, but nothing’s going to help you once you exit the house, get in the car, and find an infinite amount of cars crammed into every road from here to work.

5. Finding absolutely no traffic and getting even more worried

Sure, no traffic means you’re going to get to work much quicker.

But it also means literally everyone else on the island has already made it to work and you’re super late.

6. Foolishly thinking you might just make it on time

There’s room for false hope in every step of this list, but this is where it usually hits most people.

One thing you keep forgetting is that you woke up 45 minutes late, and nothing’s going to bring that time back.

7. Realising that if everyone’s already at work, parking is going to be an even bigger bitch

This is the point where you start negotiating with yourself and wondering whether it’s better to either go round the block a couple of other times, or park way further and just run your way to work.

You might even try to justify your parking where you definitely shouldn’t “għax ħeqq x’tagħmel, laqqas spazju vojt sura wieħed Madonna!”

8. Formulating a casual entrance / apology in the lift

You take this 20 second opportunity to collect your thoughts and try to make yourself look as calm as possible. You might even crack a smile at the mirror and rehearse your entrance speech.

“Aw guys! Hah balla traffic hux illum? Xejn hi, kelli trakk quddiemi għat-triq kollha!”

9. Walking in and realising you’re actually not the last person in

Is it the weather? Is it a malfunctioning alarm clock phenomenon? Whatever it is, you’re not the only person who got to work late.

You sit down at your post and try to play catch-up for the first couple of minutes.

Suddenly, someone else walks in, even later than you, casually smiling.

“Aw guys! Hah balla traffic hux illum? Xejn hi, kelli trakk quddiemi għat-triq kollha!”

Share this if you’ve been through these stages at least once in your life and tag someone who’s gotten to work late this week!

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