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Stages Of Celebrating St. Patrick’s Day In Malta

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We’ve all been pressured into going at least once in our lives, and as St. Patrick’s Day rapidly returns (and this year it’s thankfully on a weekend), here are the stages that most of us will be going through this Friday.

1. You swear you won’t be going up to Paceville this year

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2. You then think, “Well, if everyone’s going… fuck it.”

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3. You realize you’re going to be partying while the sun is still up and get a bit more excited

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4. You desperately try to find anything green in your wardrobe

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5. You contemplate whether you should get your own alcohol to avoid the hour-long queues

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6. You spend an eternity looking for parking, only to create your own space

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7. You waste precious time trying to find your friends in the crowd

And you feel like you’re in a life-size version of Where’s Waldo.

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8. You realize all your friends are already drunk 

And they’ve probably put in much more effort than you have into this.

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9. You’re secretly disappointed that you didn’t arrive on time to get a leprechaun hat

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Even though you’ll pretend you don’t really care that much.

10. You try to accept the fact that you’re probably not going to manage to pee anytime in the next couple of hours

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11. You come face-to-face with everyone you vowed you’d never speak to ever again and give them your best fake smile

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12. You attempt (and absolutely bomb) an Irish accent

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13. You end up in Havana no matter where you started your night

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BONUS: You feel like shite the morning after

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At least it’s going to be a Saturday!

Tag a friend who loves St. Patrick’s Day!

READ NEXT: The 7 People You Meet In Havana

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