Philosophical Dilemmas Maltese Women Face In Winter

X'hassle ghidli...

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Let's do some simple maths here: a day consists of 24 hours. 24 hours consist of 1440 minutes. 1440 minutes consist of hundreds of decisions taken, no matter how big, small, or petty. Wake up or snooze? Snooze or lose? Burger or salad? Gym membership or the YOLO train? Joseph or Simon? Daddy or chips? 

It's winter, your energy levels are low and you're not in the mood to deal with anyone's bullshit. Because you've got enough of your own. Here are a few dilemmas you are most probably facing as a Maltese woman. 

1. 'To Tights Or Not To Tights...'

[...that is the question]

It's time to blind everyone with your pasty white legs. Or not, because – tights. You go for the nude tights look, which leads you to the next problem...

"Agħtti dawk is-saqajn minn hemm Diandra qishom tiġieġ tal-friża"


2. 'To Wax Or Not To Wax...'

[...that is the question]

A perplexing question for men, a fortnightly thought for women. It's Malta, it's cold, it's humid. Even changing into your winter pajamas is an ordeal you put off as long as possible because the ten seconds in the nude are too much to handle, let alone the joy of having hot wax ripping hair off your goosebump-laden skin. 

You contemplate sporting the 'footballer-leg chic' look at least once a month, which is more often than you care to admit. Which is why we did it for you.


3. 'To Hydrate Or Not To Hydrate...'

[...that is the question]

Being the sex with the (seemingly) weaker bladder, women tend to prefer going through the slow process of dehydration than drinking and having to urinate every fifteen minutes. 

Plus, water at room temperature in Maltese winter means water at seven degrees, which is a whole other level of stress ain't nobody got time for.

Weak Bladder

4. 'To Pee Or Not To Pee...'

[...that is the question]

You're finally semi-cosy in bed after lying in the fetal position for ten minutes when it hits you. At first you convince yourself it's just your imagination. Half an hour later you are left with no choice but to admit to yourself that the bursting bladder you're trying to ignore is indeed about to burst. 

Still, you weigh the pros and cons of getting out of bed to relieve your bladder #Partylikeits99.

Sheldon Pee

5. 'To Blow dry Or Not To Blow Dry...'

[...that is the question]

It's Friday, your week sucked and you currently look like Albert Einstein on crack. You pick up the phone to book a blow-dry when the voice inside your head whispers 'Issa billi ħa tagħmel blowdrajn f'dan id-dulluvju, fidila?'


Bonus: 'To Umbrella Or Not To Umbrella...'

[...that is the question]

You end up getting that mop on your scalp blow-dried. The moment you step off your doorstep, however, a sudden gust of wind strikes you in the face and the umbrella you've just opened is now upturned. 

The asshole sky drops a bucket of rainwater straight onto your face and your day is ruined. Where's Rihanna that one time you need her? Sometimes it pays to just stay in bed and avoid such drama #Żejda.


Men: sympathise.

Any dilemmas haunting you every winter? That is the question. Let us know your answers the comments below.

READ NEXT: 20-Year Old Vs. 30-Year Old Maltese Women

Written By

Tina Anastasi

Certified Cat Lady.