Here's What A Maltese 'How-To-Be-An-Adult' Class Would Look Like
Handyman haggling will be on the curriculum
A newly launched Adulting School in Maine, Portland, USA has introduced a series of life-hacking classes that teach young adults how to manage with everyday scenarios that they would have otherwise left to their parents. So basically – anything you would pick up the phone to call your parents to ask them about has been converted into a tutorial.
It's an interesting premise, and since it's only been open since July 2016, we have yet to see how successful it will be. But, if it does spread to Malta, we're pretty sure they'd have to tweak the curriculum a bit.
Here's what we think the Adulting School of Malta should cover in it's lesson-plan.
1. How to actually leave your parents' house
Chapter One: No, you don't have to wait till you're married
2. How to haggle, Malta-style
Chapter Two: Make sure to tut and roll your eyes when your plumber gives you a quote – and remember to channel "ma tarax" vibes for at least 15 minutes.
3. How to regulate your house-temperature
Chapter Three: Useful mum-advice for not receiving an electric bill that's more than your home loan – e.g. ixtri paġama suriet in-nies ibni.
4. How to get... anywhere
Chapter Four: "Pa, which one is Żebbuġ?" And other navigation-related questions.
5. How to always get the better deal on groceries
Chapter Five: Spotting a ħalliel – with a special prelude from Nannu Karm.
6. How to not catch a cold during mezzo-temp
Chapter Six: Well, whatever the instructions, it will still be your fault.
7. How to not sacrifice your clothes to the elements
Chapter Seven: Hang them up inside-out, injorant.
8. How to make any Maltese food
Chapter Eight: One day it will taste like Nanna's...
9. How to background-check any person living on the island
Chapter Nine: U ż-żgur li nafha lil dik – ajma hey!