Although Malta famously enjoys about 300+ days of sunshine in a year, when it does rain…we can all agree that it pours. Not only does this usually reveal massive infrastructural problems on the islands, it also renders the people who inhabit it pretty immobile – whether they need to be or not.
Here’s a few things that Maltes people categorically won’t do when it’s raining.
1. Their hair
Lanqas ħaqq naħli l-flus fuq il-blowdraj b’dat-temp – xi dwejjaq!
2. Meet anyone
No ta hun, I’m going to stay in and watch Netflix. Don’t want to risk it. (Risk what exactly!?)
3. Go to the doctor
That persistent rash has developed from mildly pink, to purple and grainy. But AS IF I’m going to pass through Valley Road to go to the family doctor. No ta.
4. Visit nanna
Even though she’s broken her hip bone and ran out of milk. Biex tieqafli l-karrozza? Le, grazzi.
5. Go to meetings
Can you call the CEO and tell him we have to cancel the meeting we’ve been waiting to have for three years? I mean, it’s pouring uh. Thanks.
6. Or get any work done generally
No I didn’t finish that report – it was due on that day when it was pissing with rain – remember?
Because – you think I’m going out in this rain for groceries? Pfft. I’ll just get delivery.
8. Successfully order delivery
“Hi – can I order a margherita please?”
“Għandek mill-inqas tlett siegħat x’tistenna sinjura…“
Fuck it – microwave popcorn and stale Panettone for dinner it is.
Marelli, rajthom is-sajjetti dal-lejl? Qas stajt norqod!