You know their names, you’ve identified which one you’re most similar to, and who you’d rather be friends with. You’ve developed gluten intolerance because Kourtney has cut it out of her diet. Whether you love them, secretly love them, or wish you could wipe them off the face of the Earth, the Kardashians’ – pronounced Kar-dash-eean, not Kardeshin – influence on pop culture is undeniable.
Here are a few things Maltese women have in common with the Kardashians, and whether it is because we are actually similar or influenced by them is irrelevant at this point. Another case of the chicken or the egg innit.
1. Bodycon dresses
Apart from the difference in price tags, a clothing trend which the vast majority of Maltese women share with Khloe, Kim and Kylie is their love of bodycon dresses.
Yet, we dare say it’s officially time to retire the figure-hugging dresses. No matter how nice your body is, you probably look kind of tarty with no taste. #Boycotthebodycon.
2. Kids with random AF names.
There’s North, Saint, Reign and there’s Dream. We too like random. And like matriarch Kris Jenner, we too like naming our kids using the same first letter; Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie (Rob who?)
Kayden, Kingston u Kaznaya! Qed ixxommu riħa ta’ petlor?
3. Our mums are slightly cray
…(in the best way possible).
Maltese mums are known to keep their children under their wing as long as possible – kind of like elephants.
Like Kris Jenner, they micromanage everything their children do, from the flokk ta’ taħt they wear in winter to the wedding day…except they don’t get paid to be our managers. #mumager
Ħaditli l-engage Keznaya!
4. We are constantly starving. Literally.
We love eating. The Kardashians love eating. We may post Instagram pics posing with our organic lettuce latte, but who the hell are we kidding?
Tużżana pastizzi ta’ l-irkotta Joey ħa mmorru ‘l hemm.
5. The inability to string a coherent sentence together
For whatever reason, it’s become popular to make oneself sound like a total twat – and we are well seasoned on this one. Also, leaving Facebook comments like ‘Thanks doll xxx‘ instead of the now old ‘Thanks swt xxx‘. We literally can’t deal.
6. Wearing heels for a Sunday stroll
We don’t differentiate between a gala and a casual walk on the front or a stroll through Buskett. Rather, we opt for stilettos and bridal makeup while pushing a pram and nagging the fuck out of our partners.
Stajt titfa’ naqa profile pic miegħi tal-Valentine’s bħalma għamel Wayne!
7. We take no shit.
We believe in an eye for an eye.
‘Ħallini mill-bibbja bħalissa Jolene għax noqtlu bħalissa’