Someone on the popular Facebook forum The Salott opened a can of worms this week when they asked Maltese women what they call their special time of the month. The post has given way to many wonderful and creative insights into how women code-name their monthly visitor when it comes to speaking about it in public.
There are many entries which frankly left us in awe, and here are the top ones which we might just consider using ourselves.
1. Out of Order
It couldn’t be said any better ladies; our hoohaas are indeed out of order for the week — just like the upstairs Embassy escalators.
2. Waqajt it-Taraġ
This popular codeword always confused us when we were young, especially when a family member who clearly did not fall any literal set of stairs said it.
And while this term is more commonly associated with a woman’s very first period, this particular user said that she liked waqajt it-taraġ enough that she kept using it every single month.
3. The Blob
Just like the movie The Blob, everyone runs away in terror when they find out we’re PMSing right?
4. Iz-Ziju Laburist tal-Awstralja
According to the lovely lady who posted this, it’s because it’s red and it takes a month to come, just like our dear ziju laburist tal-Awstralja. Genius.
5. The Red Wedding
We have some die-hard GOT fans here who got a bit too creative with the tragic events of the series and applied them to real life. It’s not that tragic ta’.
6. Satan’s Waterfall
This one is a bit too dramatic for our tastes to be honest.
But hey ladies, whatever works right?
7. Shark Week
Clearly one of our favourites. When it comes to explaining the mood swings we sometimes get, shark week is clearly the way to go, but we would’ve probably related more to Jaws.
8. Ħsara Teknika
This makes us think of the old Error 404 we get on the interwebs.
Your hooch ain’t out of order sister; it’s just getting maintenance done.
9. River of Love
Manche’ would not be proud of this one.
Whatever bro; get over it because this is what everyone should be calling their monthly visitor from now on.
This is the old school Maltese codename for period, known throughout the country and used even by our grandpas.
We heard rumours from our grandmama that certain OG fruit vendors would not let women touch their produce without buying it just in case they had l-affari.
11. Internal Affairs Department
This one hits home with many ladies most probably.
It is quite internal after all.
12. Niagara Falls
This makes us think of that scene from The Shining. #relatable
13. Reign of Terror
Damn girl, you are not holding back.
This one gives us strong Bloody Mary vibes. Maybe the creepy urban legend only works if you are having a reign of terror down your pants?
14. The Curse
Woman, don’t be too hard on your body — it’s not a curse, it’s a blessing.
BONUS: Osh Inishi
This one came from a male counterpart, and the crudeness of it shows.
But hey, we love it, we love the Asian ring to it and the play on letters which might make it a bit confusing the first time you encounter it.
Once you get it, though, it’ll be tough to go back to calling your period literally anything else.