We all have that one bro. You know – Broseph, Barack Obroma, Richard Bronson, Abroham Lincoln… you get it. That one guy who you’d take a bullet for… or at least drunkly brag about doing so over some beers.
Here are a couple of phrases you’re bound to hear at least once in a Maltese bromance:
1. “Dieħel FIFA bro?”
Hey bro, will you be playing FIFA?
While there are a lot of other games that bros bond over, none boast a connection as strong as FIFA. This is where bromances go to get even stronger, and if you’re not careful and too competitive, where they might die.
Also, if a very quick YouTube search is anything to go by, FIFA Bros are also some of the most common bros out there.
2. “Ħalliha bro, mhux wertid”
Leave it (her) bro, it’s not worth it.
This one’s very useful (and common) because of all the different situations it can be applied to. It starts off as something you shout at your bro whilst holding him back from starting a bar fight, and ends with you repeating it more quietly at two in the morning while he’s crying over the girl he was fighting for… who’s now dry-humping his cousin.
3. “X’se tilbes bro?”
What are you going to wear bro?
Just because you’re bros doesn’t mean you won’t actually discuss what you’ll be wearing for your night out. If anything, you’ll do it even more, to make sure that (a) you don’t end up wearing that same exact jacket you both have, and (b) you compliment each other perfectly for optimal wingman effect.
4. “Missna nixtru bar bro”
We should buy a bar bro.
Don’t pretend like you’ve never been in a situation where this cropped up in the middle of a random conversation with your bro. Imagine how amazing it would be if all the bros who ever said this actually went ahead and opened a bar – all the terrible/amazing pun-names would be crazy fun.
5. “Logħba illejla fid-9, ġej bro?”
(Football) match tonight at 9, you coming bro?
You know you’ve been accepted as an honorary bro when you’re asked to join a football match at the last minute. The team were missing that one last vital player and your bro could’ve asked anyone, but he asked you. Get ready for a beautiful couple of years of a fully-fledged bromance. #FootballFriend
6. “Tlaqna drive-thru bro?”
Shall we go to the drive-thru bro?
The best thing about this phrase is the fact that it’s applicable at any time of day or night – because your bro is always up for a cheeky dose of fast food at an ungodly hour.
7. “Kemm inħobbok bro jaqq”
I love you so much bro (ugh).
There’s always that one moment of escalation (normally, but not exclusively, during a drunken night), when you just realise how much you love your bro. This is the moment where you actually finally say what’s on your mind, although probably, you’ll need to follow it up with a friendly reminder that this a strictly platonic love.
When you finally get over the awkwardness and say it out loud, though, you’ll probably end up going on an “I love you more *insert bro pun here*” competition-marathon.