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Preparing Yourself For Malta’s Cold Winter Months

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Featured Image Photo by Giuseppe “Beppe” De Rosa

If you bug us by telling us Malta’s winter isn’t cold, we will recklessly smash both our languages together and bug you too.

We’ve been taking the summer months for granted. Mother Nature is looking at us, triggered by our carelessness. She’s planning a winter to remember. Never forget the cold air in winter chilling your bones, the wind shredding your face, and the amounts of money spent lip-bum sealing up the cracks in your lips. If you won’t take this seriously we will. Winter. Is. Coming.

And here’s what you need to do to get ready.

1. Check your old clothes

First thing to do is remember what clothes you wore all of last year. Refamiliarise yourself with your wardrobe, take note of what you need and what you need to throw away.

Fashion changes 24/7. Last year was the year of the denim jackets, God knows what this year will bring with it. But you might want to keep that denim jacket; jeans are life.

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2. Get heaters out of storage

Bring them back.

Every winter we forget how hot summer is, and every summer we forget how cold winter is.

With our houses mostly built for the summer months, you will need to get out the heaters again, the blankets, and the thick sheets. Hurry child. The wind is howling.

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3. Learn how the heating dials on your car work again

If you do not park in a garage during the winter months, you will be plagued with the curse of the humid mornings.

The car wipers just seem to make everything worse, and driving while being only able to see from a tiny hole of un-humid screen is not acceptable. Ask someone who understands cars what to do when the humidity hits you, take notes and save yourself.

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4. Buy some new warm clothes

Any excuse to splash.

As previously mentioned, new seasons bring new fashion. Get online and get spending. By now, we know that you know your size from literally every brand in existence. Put everything you like on a one way trip to Malta, it’s a good way to not feel so down when clouds take over our skies.

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5. Prepare your cold phrases small talk

MAAAAA X’BARD!

Whether you consider yourself good or bad at small talk, phrases like “X’kesħa”,Freeeezing ah!” and “I can’t even feel my toes!'” will soon be be your lifesavers when you’re preparing your coffee at work every morning.

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6. Become one with your umbrella

Put that umbrella in your car and don’t forget about it.

We know it doesn’t rain much in Malta, but when it does, it pours. Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and your umbrella even closer. You will be thanking us one day.

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7. Get rid of your summer stuff

Chuck ‘em.

Everything in storage boys and girls.

Beach towels, shorts, tank tops, lilos, sunglasses, ice-cream, beach umbrellas and outdoor BBQs. Find them a place for the winter days. Free up space around the house and in your wardrobe for the necessities.

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BONUS: Sit back and sweat the rest of September away

Because let’s face it; we’re still a heck of a long way to go until it’s even remotely cold enough. But hey, it’s never too early to start getting ready!

How do you plan to battle this winter? Let us know below!

READ NEXT: Shit Maltese People Think Will Change Every Time September Arrives

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