Shit To Stop Telling Boys Who Wear Makeup In Malta
If we wanted advice, we'd ask elsewhere
It may come as a surprise to many in Malta that some guys like to wear makeup. Yes, even outside of the theatre.
We know it's a new concept to some, so here are a few handy tips on all the shit to stop saying to guys who wear makeup... because trust us, we've heard it all before.
1. 'Sejjer il-Panto?'
Translation: You're off to a Panto?
Would you believe it, some boys wear makeup outside of the stage. Mind boggling, we know, but please realise there's more to boy makeup than heavy blush painted for the back row of the MFCC.
2. 'Jaq, qisek tifla'
Translation: Ew, you look like a girl
Firstly, the fuck is up with the implication that being like a girl is somehow a bad thing? Secondly, why is it only for girls? Are we still not over adding genders to things that really don't need them?
3. 'I'm not homophobic but...'
Straight up, if you start a sentence like that you probably are about to say something homophobic. Also, it's not only gay guys who wear makeup. Deep breaths, it's just pigment you put on your face.
4. 'Kemm taħli ħin'
Sure, I may not rock the five-minute 'I just rolled out of bed and here is my face, flaws and all' look you've mastered, but what difference does the time I spend doing this make to you?
5. 'Is it cos you have bad skin?'
In some cases, guys (just like girls) wear makeup to hide so-called imperfections that bug them; highlighting this insecurity is kind of a dick move.
In other cases people just enjoy having makeup on. They don't need a reason to justify it.
6. 'I wish I had a gay friend to do my makeup for me'
See point three regarding straight guys and makeup. Also, just go on Youtube, it has everything you need.
7. 'Imma I can tell you're wearing makeup ta'
Really? Damn, I spent an hour getting ready hoping my entire face would just be invisible.
On the bright side you win the 'Thanks For Getting So Close To My Face You Spotted My Eyeliner' grand prize. It's in the mail, promise.
8. 'Jaħasra, you're so handsome without all that'
In Malta any guy with long hair, a beard, a tattoo or anything that slightly alters the way you look knows all about the struggles of this one.
I think I'll decide when I feel I look good, thank you very much.