Shit Your Nanna Always Tells You Before You Travel
While most of us are happy to call Malta home, its size alone is enough to drive most of us to travel as much as possible. And with cheap flights becoming much more accessible, this #wanderlust escape happens a lot more often.
While our grandparents are happy to see us travel to foreign lands, they’re usually a little more skeptical of travel that doesn’t come from a tour brochure. Here’s what you usually end up hearing:
1. Make sure you’re at the airport 3 hours early!
They recommend 2, which means you should probably go an hour earlier than the recommendation just to beat everyone else.
2. Make sure you contact your relative who lives there!
Yes, cos Aunty Gina who lives in Melbourne is definitely going to pick me up from the airport in Cairns.
3. Make sure you don’t buy any food off the street!
Sorry, but there’s no way I won’t be stopping at every street vendor offering local, deep-fried whatever.
4. Make sure you’ve packed 6 packets of Twistees!
What if you get hungry in your hotel? Or you don’t like any of the local food? Or you get a tummy ache from all the rich foreign flavours?
Photo: Alan Grech / Facebook
5. Make sure you avoid any local markets!
Despite the fair logic behind the warning, a couple more people trying to rob you is not a good enough reason to miss the gems hidden in foreign stalls just waiting for you to find.
6. Make sure you don’t drink anything, their alcohol is stronger!
Maybe in some tiny Siberian town the backroom-bath vodka would knock your socks off, but I’m pretty sure Italy’s wine is similar to ours.
7. Make sure you switch off your phone on the plane!
“Mary told me once it brought a whole plane down. Even the silent mode isn’t good enough.”
8. Make sure you find a church close to your hotel!
You can probably even find a mass in english if you look hard enough.
