STFU Or Suffer Our Wrath: Things That Will Always Trigger Maltese People
As much as the world believes that we are all calm and composed, believe it or not, we can actually get pretty pissed off about certain things. Like, a lot.
Maltese people can Hulk out any given time, for the most seemingly ludicrous reasons… and here’s a list of things that can set off a Maltese bomb to prove it.
1. Criticism by a foreigner
https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-887Gp589CW8ow
Oh, don’t even try it. If you are a foreigner in Malta and you have a problem, take my advice, keep mum about it and carry on.
Keeping your lips shut is better than having them punched.
2. England or Italy?
https://giphy.com/gifs/star-trek-jfc-irU9BlmqEwZwc
Every two years, whether it’s World Cup or Euro, you might have a bit of an uncomfortable situation when Marco from the office yells “Forza Italia Campioni!” and the next door neighbour screams “Three Lions, IT’S COMING HOME!”
3. Red or Blue
https://giphy.com/gifs/dog-what-confused-7K3p2z8Hh9QOI
This is like the mind and soul for some of my Maltese buddies. The two parties that run the show have actually divided homes and families for decades, and it’s not letting up anytime soon.
This is serious business, don’t take it lightly.
P.S: Nobody really cares about the other parties / colours.
4. A suggestion about eating less and being healthy
https://giphy.com/gifs/weezer-music-video-california-kids-xThuWcu8nwBhazm0Fi
Don’t! Just don’t tell your Maltese friend to go easy on that horse meat or stuffat tal-fenek. They will hate and judge you for the rest of your life.
Let them hog!
5. Are you speaking English while standing in a queue?!
https://giphy.com/gifs/thread-glory-angle-DujNXN9iBNORq
If yes, then you probably have embraced some shoulder nudging or might encounter a local oldie crossing your turn and coming in front of you.
6. Religious vs Non-believer
https://giphy.com/gifs/lucifer-fox-fox-lucifer-morningstar-3ornjSK0XquldQXGGA
Don’t you dare say, “I believe in God but just not in the church”. Keep it to yourself.
And if you really want to invoke a public lynching, go ahead and declare you’re an atheist. I dare you.
7. Dogs vs Cats… vs Rabbits?
https://giphy.com/gifs/vs-prove-mxz3samnvAzVS
Earlier, it used to be just pooches vs felines, but now the newbie in the market has created an uproar.
RUBS Puppy Love is the huge Facebook group where seemingly all of Malta’s animal lovers meet and one can easily sense a feeling of uneasiness when they cross a line between admiration and subtle competition.
8. Wanna play the blame game?
https://giphy.com/gifs/globaltv-the-good-place-your-fault-eleanor-shellstrop-28fdeDukfpO4CmchDb
You name it, we have it. Pollution, population, construction or traffic, whatever you do, avoid debating on these topics. We will find someone to blame for all of the above, and it will never be ourselves.
Don’t believe me? Read the comments below.
9. Trying to change a routine
https://giphy.com/gifs/disney-pixar-disneypixar-zxxXYJqTlpBnO
Yeah, we’ve all been there. There are many things which can be improved, but just refrain from mentioning it. We like things the way they are… and no one can change that.
BONUS: That red Mercedes cutting in front of you
https://giphy.com/gifs/reaction-annoyed-sassy-HXoepRAjBAPwA
If you can’t afford it, you probably would hate it too.