The 6 Awkward Stages Every Maltese Person Experiences At A Drive-Thru
'X'qed tgħid sieħbi?'
Not having to physically leave your car, and given food to eat? Dreams can come true.
The drive-through popularity has been soaring ever since its introduction in our island. However, unbeknownst to us, it arrived with a couple of issues. Well, not real problems... more like little frustrations you may have to put up with (we know, #FirstWorldProblems).
Here’s a list of possible tiny grievances you may have to put up with next time you get to a drive-thru.
1. Deciding on your order
The first, and hardest problem of the lot.
You always go with a plan you have mentally prepared what you want on the drive over. But the moment you take a look at the menu, all the previous decisions go out the window.
Your brain stalls harder than the person in front of you whilst you begin to spit out an order that you’re not entirely sure of.
Madonna ħsibt li ha nġib fries u spiċċajt ordnajt erba' burgers.
2. Wrong speaker
“KEMM TIĠI ĦDEJN L-ISPEAKER L-IEĦOR SINJURA” you faintly hear from the distance just as you put your handbrake up.
Sure, it’s not the worst thing in the world, and to be honest it’s not really that much of an inconvenience, but why put the second speaker there in the first place? And why can't I seem to ever get it right?
3. Speaking slowly
You're finally ready to (yet again) tell them exactly what you want.
Of course, they always speak in your second best language, so you’ll have to make the dreaded switch over. You’ll stutter your order out, only to be asked to repeat it over, and over again. Never has communication been so frustrating.
"Can I have a tlett burgers kbar and a borża of fries please?"
4. Awkwardly paying
As you finally roll up to the paying windows, you’re of course unprepared.
You begin to search your entire car for the smallest of change to get rid of, in every container, nook and cranny of your wallet. All of this while the person serving you awkwardly stares at you, with their hand nervously shaking and extended into your car.
"Naħlef li kien hawn xi Euro x'imkien..."
"Tinkwetax, take your time," they nervously smile.
5. Waiting for your food
The second you’re given your food, the patience of the person behind you is completely lost.
With the only way to communicate their frustration of having to wait another two seconds, they always begin smashing their horn, giving you and your passengers the fright of your lives.
"Imma xi tridni nagħmel xbin, nidħol insajjar jien?!"
6. Checking your order and going back for something
The damn sweet and sour sauce. Every. Single. Time.
As you pull out of the drive-thru lane, you look into the bag to make sure everything is there. It's not. Anger fills your body, and you only see red. Oh God, why me?!
Pulling up your handbrake, you march back into the fast food joint. Slamming the receipt on the table you ask, neigh demand, what is rightfully yours. They smile, give you everything apologise, and wish you a good day.
Deep down, you know you overreacted, but there's no bargaining with you when you're hungry
"Imma dejjem madonna!"
BONUS: Sweet, delicious relief
Finally, you’ve got your beautiful processed food at your fingertips.
There’s only one thing left to do. Eat your food in a quiet corner of the car park, or save it until you're back at home and no one can see you swallow all those fries.
Enjoy every single mouthwatering moment... you'll hate yourself for falling for the delicious fast food trap soon enough.