The 6 Harbingers Of Christmas In Malta
OK, we get it; Christmas is a time of happiness and cheer for most, and people can’t seem to be able to wait for the actual day to come. But for those of us who aren’t big on Christmas, Malta can get a bit… much.
Here are six omens that foreshadow this time of cheer in Malta.
1. The anxiety-inducing countdowns
Nothing tells us that our life is passing by swiftly better than a good old Christmas countdown on Facebook. These harbingers start out like, a week before Halloween, making us feel like we’re ageing at a super rapid rate.
You cannot escape these ticking time bombs, and no matter where you look, you’re bound to see one of these prophetic posts online.
#KantWejt4Xmas
2. Everyone from your neighbour to your nanna starts asking you what your plans are for Christmas…
… from October. Not even end of October mind you, oh no, you’ll be asked for Christmas plans around mid-October.
When the weather is still almost too summery, your family will start making plans for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
If you’re lucky enough, your friends are also Christmas crazy, so they’ll also be asking for plans. Yay.
3. The Istrina billboards
One of the biggest signs of them all. Literally, because those bad boys are big AF.
Whether you’ll be helping out (we are, so maybe you should support us? *wink wink*) or whether you want to stay away from it all, good luck trying to avoid these billboards.
#KifTistaTevithom?
4. The Christmas trees on Teleshopping
This is actually one of the most enjoyable ones. There’s nothing quite as fun as settling down on your sofa, get drunk and watch the beloved local Teleshopping.
Peter really is the best on the island; that man could sell you your own skin if he wanted to. It’s only a matter of time until you actually buy a Christmas tree off this man. Also, why does the Christmas tree sale start in like, September?
5. A riot almost breaks out on The Salott as people discuss Christmas lights
There’s only three things which drive people on the Salott on the verge of anarchy; an increase in pastizzi prices, deckchairs and those damned Christmas lights.
It’s insane, but we all know that Christmas is here when people start threatening to carry out vendettas over the light setup in Valletta.
6. Our letter boxes look like an over-stuffed chicken
All of that junk mail Maltese households receive is almost unbelievable. Here we are trying to make an effort at saving the planet with all of these recycling pains.
As soon as November comes, our mail boxes are literally overstuffed with junk mail showing all all of the terrible Christmas hampers we will definitely not buy. By December, it gets absolutely unbearable.
Please stop.