The 7 Maltese Friends You Made While Drunk This Weekend
Drinking has its fair share of disadvantages. But apart from making you the best dancer in the club (in your eyes at least), it is also the perfect catalyst to making friends. Here are seven people you leave calling your friends after every night out.
1. Your acquaintance from secondary school
You never spoke at school, but now that you're out and a few drinks in, all you can do is laugh and reminisce about the good times. Remember when we... err... were in the same classroom when that funny thing happened to someone else? #BondedForLife
2. Your ex's new partner
"Honestly they're sooo sweet and sooo nice and I'm just so happy for them. Seriously they're pretty and happy and that's all I could ever want for them."
Read that in your sloppiest drunk voice and you're set.
3. The person in the toilet queue
Why suffer alone? As the two of you lean against the piss-covered walls waiting for the next free stall, the conversations are so real. They're probably the sweetest person you've ever met.
4. The guy behind the counter at Broasters
They are providing sustenance. They are providing life. A therapist; a chef; a true friend. No one makes a burger quite like they do, and you're making sure they know how special they are to you.
5. The nice bouncer
You're sitting down outside the club (it's probably too hot inside and you need some fresh air) and somehow the booze takes over and you decide that this burly man is your protector, but also a friend-in-waiting.
Together you judge others walking by, assuming he doesn't know you're way drunker than they are, and an unlikely friendship forms right around the time you tell them you really appreciate their hard work.
6. Your taxi driver
A mobile therapist who has seen so much shit they don't care how drunk you are... as long as you don't puke. A chance to vent about your shitty night with no consequences all en route to your comfy bed? Perfection.
7. The person who's actually in a worse state than you
You are their caregiver now. They are drunk as fuck and you are here to help. Mother has arrived.