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The 9 Stages Of GDPR As Seen From The Eyes Of A Clueless Human

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It was implemented back in 2016, but it was only within these last couple of months that we have seen the army of spam mails invading our inboxes. Here’s why GDPR is literally ruining our lives.

1. Confusion

Every single thing you ever subscribed to (and a lot more that you didn’t) is now filling up your inbox with insane Privacy Policy updates.

All these weird emails about personal data and behavioural data, you read your way through the first couple of emails trying to figure out what the hell this is. To no avail.

2. Desperation

You hear people around you talk about it and you nod with a blank stare. It seems like everyone else knows what it is, but you clearly don’t. Are you missing out on something?

You’re feeling confused AF, so you turn the Oracle himself for guidance — Google. 

3. Denial 

You start deleting your emails without even opening them. 

You feel happy whenever you finish this gruelling process, only to refresh your inbox a couple of minutes later to find it full again.

You’re not really sure what’s changing, but you’re dreading the Godforsaken GDPR every time you hear your phone ring. This isn’t happening.

4. Self-victimisation 

As the shock starts wearing off you will start asking yourself existential questions you never knew you were capable of forming in your head. 

Why am I getting emails asking me to sign up for stuff?

What does this have to do with me? 

Why am I being targeted like this? #firstworldproblems

5. Bargaining

You accidentally deleted an important work email. 

You are now willing to understand this and accept the flooding of your mailbox. Maybe you and GDPR can have a sustainable relationship if only you can make this work. 

You start feeling like this is your responsibility and you need to fix it, for sanity’s sake. 

6. Ignoring 

The pain of being so colossally spammed is intolerable. So you do what you always do when things overwhelm you — you start ignoring them. 

7. Relapsing

Maybe its not GDPR, maybe it’s you. Maybe you can actually convince yourself to take a look at all these emails one by one and reconcile with GDPR. 

It has changed its tactic now and is sending more emails with more catchy titles and colourful images. It’s alive.

8. Anger

You’re slowly becoming rage personified. You thought that you will never get angry over this, but GDPR seems to have pushed you to become an unrecognisable monster. 

You start getting nervous ticks whenever you hear your phone go off, anger has become one of your most easily accessible emotions — it’s near paralysing. 

9. Acceptance

You’ve finally made peace with your anger, this will probably never stop. So might as well. 

You accept that this is what life will be like from now on. You were holding on to the idea of change and control, but you have finally given up all hope on that. 

You’re finally getting used to the fact that you need to accept this new way of life and move on. Or maybe just get a new email account.

Have we missed any of the GDPR stages? Leave a comment below

READ NEXT: The Stages Of A Long Weekend Bender In Malta

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