Public toilets have a singular-function – to provide relief when it’s most needed. But a lot more than that goes on in ladies’ toilets in Malta.
If you’re a Maltese woman and you’ve needed to go to the bathroom whilst not being at home, then you’ve probably said at least one of these things.
1. I’ll meet you outside ta’
You say to your friend when you know it’s going to be more than a pee.
2. Idħol miegħi
You both know no one’s there to use the toilet for it’s actual purpose. #ConfessionBooth
3. There’s someone!
That ineloquent word-combo which shoots out of your mouth when you’re sitting butt-exposed on the pot and there’s a knock on your stall.
4. It’s not flushing…
You say loudly to no one in particular when you emerge from a stall that you may or may not have blocked. #BlameThePlumbing
5. Isma minni, tidħolx hemm ġew
Translation: period mess alert.
6. There are people waiting ta’
You’re drunk and you’re ready to declare war on whoever has been in that stall for more than three minutes.
7. Temminhom dawn in-nies?
To the other women waiting as you plot a combined attack on the bathroom door.
8. I really love your outfit/hair/make-up
You say to your new queue-coalition member. #InstantBestie
9. Oħroġ issa għax ħa nifqa kull m’hemm!
When shit literally gets desperate.
When any other woman accidentally lets out a loud fart and you all hear it. #WomanCode