Things People Who Don’t Like People Go Through In Malta
Not enjoying spending prolonged periods of time with other people is hard everywhere in the world, mainly because wherever you go there’s always… other people.
But in Malta, the problem is compounded. Not only are there people in Malta, but you probably know a whole lot of them.
This can lead to some very awkward situations and circumstances. Here are some of the things that people who don’t like people have to deal with on Malta on a regular basis.
1. Feeling guilty about spending the whole day indoors, in bed
It’s sunny outside, the birds and the bees are singing and buzzing, making today the literal definition of a beautiful day – but it is too late, you have become the darkness.
Are you going through a depression, or is this just part of your introversion? Or do you just really love being in bed all day under multiple layers of blankets?
Who knows, who cares – as long as someone brings you food at regular intervals you’ll be fine.
2. In traffic hoping you are not stuck next to someone you know
Oh shit it’s fucking Michael from – *waves* “how you doing! orrajt?”
3. Failing at any attempt to enjoy the beach
You’ve got the book, you’ve got the shades, and an extra towel to hide behind. Now you must choose between setting up near the ħamallu family, or the pepe’ family.
What do you hate worse, incessant swearing, or a severe lack of pronunciation of the letter ‘r’? So maddening, it makes you want to tear your claw off angrily.
4. Wondering why you even log online
Sometimes you regret ever joining social media.
Event invitations for events you’ll never attend, the lamest selfies around, and all these manufactured motivational quotes about love, an emotion most of these people have never felt. Fuck you Mark Zuckerberg.
5. You shove in earphones hoping to avert conversations
You might be listening to music, you might not be.
What’s important to know is that you are inaccessible and anyone interested in speaking to you should just keep walking, wave, and keep their mouth closed.
6. You have a dreaded countdown to any social event
You said you were going to attend. You promised your friends you will attend. You are dressed and ready to go. Your friends are outside. But your legs don’t want to go down the stairs, and the bed is looking so fine right now.
Congratulations, you have officially played yourself.
7. You spend your whole day thinking ‘why did I even let myself be dragged here?’
You see someone you used to know four years ago, across the room. Oh shit you’ve made eye contact. Are you walking over? Are they? Are you going to act like you didn’t see each other…did they even see you actually?
What is this dance that you must go through every time.
8. You know exactly what you want to do
Sure, there are shiny events, crazy-looking drinks, all sorts of stuff that people tell you are fun. But really, you know exactly what you like to do, and you are totally fine with it
What other ways do you spend your day when you don’t feel like people? Let us know in the comments below.
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