This article is the fifth in a series that you can read all about here.

Meet David. He’s a marketing superhero by day, who enjoys baking, hiking, and all things cultural. By night, he has a penchant for making tequila-fuelled poor life choices. Forever alone, David lives with his two feline terrorists, Astro & Cosmo – a true crazy cat lady in the making.

It’s no secret that life as a single gay man can be very difficult. I’m fortunate enough to never have been the victim of discrimination or homophobia – but that’s more than some people can say. No, the difficulties I face come from a very different place – the challenge of dating.

I can’t speak for all members of the LGBT+ community, but what I can say is that the dating scene can be very toxic – especially when you’re heavily dependent on an app to meet people.

The truth is, if you don’t fit a certain mould or look a certain way, it’s very hard to engage other people on Grindr or Tinder. It hits out at your self-esteem and makes you question your worth as a human being, when you don’t even get so much as a “hello” back to your initial message.

This is why I go on periodic moments of celibacy where I swear off men forever – or as I like to call it, my annual manban. At the risk of never getting a date again, here’s some of the best (read: worst) encounters I’ve had via dating apps:

1. The guy who had no issues meeting my mother

2. The very pissed off stranger

3. The French boy who came on a little too strong

4. I’m not even sure if this is a typo. I really hope it is.

5. The guy who doesn’t know how to take “no” for an answer

6. The guy who’d prefer the company of my cats.

7. The very… entrepreneurial guy

8. The guy who wasn’t amused by my heritage

9. The most apologetic dick pic sender

10. BONUS: OK this isn’t me – but I think it sums up gay culture PERFECTLY