It’s not the first time that items up on sale on MaltaPark left us utterly speechless, and it looks like we have a winner. 

If the description is to believed, this listing has actually been on the site for the last four years, and will end next week, on the 12th of December.

This is konversazzjoni…!!!!!!

Reading more like a radio ad than an online listing, this is just that; a conversation.

Joe and Toni, our fictional protagonists, have a quick exchange of words centred around Joe’s hassle in finding someone to help him carry heavy objects out of the house because of his wife’s compulsive planning.

The “conversation” quickly turns into Toni giving Joe the number of this guy he knows who can really help out with anything he needs. Here’s the work of art in its entirety:

joe : ” ara toni, kemm andi x’naghmel u kemm ghandi bzonnok kieku tista tghini??”

toni : “ara lil minn qed nara!, mela le siehbi ajdli xghandek bzonn u nghinek “

joe : ” il mara tivintom, trid tiranga id dar u tibdel kollox, irid inizel kollox ar rimi, naqalaw il madum , u intelaw ir ramel u l madum il gdid.”

toni : ” mhux ghax ma ridtx nghinek ima biex taghmel da xoghol ha dum u ha naqsmu darna, ghal da xoghol ikteb dan in numru 99897229 u serah rasek li jaqdik min kollox.” 

joe : “dan x’jaghmel ton ima ?”

toni : “ara joe, dan jahdem bil high-up u jnizilek u jtellalek kollox sa tlett sulari u mhux tinkedd inti mat tarag, jaqlalek il madum ukoll u jarmi kollox hu. prezzijiet bomba jirangalek ax lili kien nadafli l ghalqa u kelli container qataw fuq il post u ghabih.cempilu u ara!”

joe: “iva tajjeb kieku, tini in numru erga ton ?”

toni :” ara gej 99897229 u tohrog sodisfatt zgur ax kollox jirangalek”

mela prova inti ukoll ghal kull tip ta xoghol cempel u tinqeda mil ahjar u bl aqwa prezzijiet.

The seller, kelsijo, has 589 other items on sale, and they range from a mahogany door to an old Ford Transit mini bus.

We’re sure he’s got some other zingers hiding in there, but it’s safe to say nothing will match the pure genius (and absolute xiż-żikkness) of konversazzjoni…!!!!!!

Tag someone who needs to check this out!

READ NEXT: 7 Times MaltaPark needed a ‘Xiz-Żikk’ Button

David Grech Urpani

Lovin Malta's Head of Content, Dave has been in journalism for the better half of the last decade. Prefers Instagram, but has been known to doomscroll on TikTok. Loves chicken, women's clothes and Kanye West (most of the time).