Traffic Orchestras And Cheeky Drive-Thrus: How Not To Study For Your A-Levels
Have you started crying yet?
With A-levels quickly approaching, Malta's students are currently on lockdown ahead of the annual pre-exam studying marathon. And we get you. We get you so much, we want to try and help out.
We've collected a few studying tips and tricks that you should only follow if you plan to disappoint your parents... again.
1. Leave your phone right next to you
Make sure the volume is as high as it can go; that won't be distracting.
2. Contemplate a dark, embarrassing moment in your life and how it affected you mentally
Like that time someone called you annoying.
So now you spend all your time worrying that you're being a burden to the people you care about.
3. Hey, your friend texted! Better answer
What were we saying about mobile phones?
4. Get up and open a window for fresh air
You can't work in a stuffy room, so find a window and let the wind inspire you. Good luck with breathing all that very fresh pollution.
5. Consider becoming a criminal as you listen to the sounds of traffic
Right, we're in Malta... and it's 6pm. Why did I wait till now to start studying?
Pictured: Casual Marsa
7. Get up again and close the window, grumbling to yourself about how little work you’ve done
20 minutes?! I was sure I've been here for at least an hour.
8. Google studying techniques, that’s a good use of your time!
Sure, speaking out loud and drawing diagrams do actually help, but be honest; you aren't actually going to try them.
9. Go to drive-thru to clear your mind
Because chicken nuggets will hit the spot no matter what.
BONUS: Give up on your studying, dreams and future and accept your fate as a struggling millennial stereotype
Screw it, I want a coffee!