Living on such a small island has its blessings and its curses. Picking up a truck-load of friends as you make your way through the years is one thing that comes with growing up in Malta – it’s hard to escape them.
We’re going to let you decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Meanwhile, we’ve come up with a few categories which we think all of these friends invariably fit into…
1. Kuġini friends
Cousins in Malta are also friends – and there’s always that extra ‘friendship clout’ surrounding two people who hang out and are also related. Even if you act like dickheads with one another, nobody ever questions your friendship bond. #TheyreCousinsTa
2. Friends tal-familja
Essentially these are the kids of your parents’ friends. And even if they’re racist, bigot, neanderthals – you’ve got to be nice to them otherwise you’ll get hell at home.
3. Wave and keep walking friends
These are people who you’ve had a close enough encounter with to not be able to avoid. They’re also the people you have no idea what to say to ever, and struggle to remember their name. But there’s no reason to be rude, is there?
4. Freak-out-when-you-meet friends
These are friends who you were once very close to, at some obscure time in your life, but you’ve since drifted apart (ie: one of you got married). When you meet you both freak out as if you were besties living in different countries for 20 years. Then you walk away and start bitching about their weird new partner.
5. Friends you never see again
You’d think this wouldn’t happen on an island so small, but that’s the beauty of this friend. The one you never see, and never really want to see anyway. You might have been best friends at one point in your life but somehow you’ve never crossed paths again. They probably moved to the South or something.
6. Best (WhatsApp) friends
Even if you don’t meet regularly, you’re in contact almost 24 hours a day. Your communication comes mostly in the form of gifs, NSFW photos, weird audio recordings and terrible one-liners.
7. Friends you’re not sure if you’re friends with
There are some people who you know you know, but you still won’t say hi to them, and nor them to you – for reasons that are inexplicable. And even if you do get introduced by a third party one day, both of you kind of pretend to not really know one another. Even though, you totally do.
BONUS: Real friends
They don’t fall into any category. They’re just the people you actually hang out with.