5 Ways We’re Totally Hypocritical As A Nation
Practice what you preach!
Look, nobody’s perfect. Well, okay - Beyoncé is pretty close to perfection, but I’m pretty sure that the Queen has her off days too. Still, the point is this - we all make mistakes, and sometimes we need a gentle nudge (read: bracing reality check) to help us realise that we fucked up.
Maybe you said something you didn’t mean after that third mojito, or perhaps you did mean it but you’re feeling a little guilty and it’s totally interfering with your beauty sleep. No matter what it may be, one thing’s for sure: we love a spot of hypocrisy here in Malta.
1. Quddies at 7, gossip session at 8:01
Translation: Church at 7, gossip session at 8:01
Now before y’all grab your pitchforks, torches, and holy water, let me say that this doesn’t apply to all practicing Catholics here in Malta, just the slightly naughty ones - and you know who you are. What would your friendly neighbourhood priest say if he heard you talking shit about your second cousin’s new girlfriend? Tsk, tsk.
2. "Welcome to sunny Malta!" vs "Go bekk to ur kuntri"
As a nation, we’re pretty warm and welcoming to anyone visiting our little slice of the Mediterranean - I mean, tourism is a big moneymaker right? While the majority of us Maltesers are lovely and excited to share everything there is to know about the virtues of our fair home, there are still some nasties around (we’re sorry about those). Despite our very rich cultural heritage, some individuals are not just intolerant, but downright awful to people who have different coloured skin, follow a non-Christian religion, or show their ‘otherness’ in some other way (like having a foreign surname *ahem*).
3. The Eurovision
There are three types of people in the world: people who love Eurovision, people who love to hate Eurovision, and liars. You know who you are. Year after year you talk about how much you don’t care about the Eurovision, but when you’re alone you’re secretly rooting for Malta to win like it’s 2002 and Ira Losco is your 7th Wonder blowing glitter out of her hand.
4. "Malta sucks" vs "Nobody talks shit about my island"
Yeah we might complain about the heat, the traffic, the government, the roads, and basically anything under the (burning hot) sun - but it’s our construction-ridden island and we’re the only ones allowed to throw shade at it, okay? Thanks. Enjoy the Kinnie.
5. Pioneer of equal rights vs. Medieval Malta
One of the touchier subjects, but necessary. Malta recently made history by legalising gay marriage (yay!), and we’re next level proud about this HUGE leap forward.
Now we just need the rest of the issues to catch up; it’s a little awkward when you realise we’re blazing trails in the fight for equality while also demonising and shaming women for things like wanting to buy the morning after pill (some pharmacists still refuse to sell it) or wearing a dress that you think is too short or too tight. Check yo’self.