What The 300 Disappearing Maltese Students May Be Up To

We may be onto something here...

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Times of Malta reported yesterday that around 300 students aged 16 vanished from all school or employment records last year, with the whole thing being described by Education Minister Evarist Bartolo as a "disappearance"

An internal government report posited that this is a sure indication of idleness or illegal work, which is a worrying statistic that needs to be properly looked at. In the meantime, though, here's what we reckon those pour lost souls are up to right now:

1. Taking #perf selfies at #Beltos

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For anyone who's still a little unsure, here's a quick guide on how to properly be a Maltese #perf. We would say you're welcome, but we're not sure you're grateful. 

2. Brainstorming horrible baby names

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Those names have to come from somewhere, don't they? Maybe a top secret delegation of 300 teenagers is where horrible baby names come from after all. #illuminatikkonfermati

3. Taking a gap year

Well, if they really have disappeared, maybe looking for them in Malta is setting our sights too low. Thailand search party anyone?

4. Fighting off the Persian Army

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It's been 10 years since the release of the epic film, and 300 is a bit too much of a perfectly round number. Coincidence? We think not. 

5. Inventing new words for 2017 

With 2016 behind us and a slew of news words added to the Maltese vocabulary, it's time to start thinking about the newest trends of 2017.

How do you think the 300 teenagers can be further encouraged to get back on the grid? Let us know in the comments below! 

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Written By

David Grech Urpani

Sarcastically ironic, Dave is a recovering hipster musician with a penchant for chicken, women's clothes and Kanye.