Why The Maltese Find It So Difficult To Lose The Christmas Weight
Are leftovers calorie free?
Whether you made a full-blown resolution, or got a bit of a scare the first time you looked in the mirror, everyone wants to shift the extra kilos they tacked on this Christmas season.
But anyone who's experienced a Maltese Christmas knows losing weight at this time of year is not as easy as they'd like to think it is, and here's why.
1. You're still eating Christmas leftovers...
Honestly, why do we prepare so much food? January also marks the month of never having enough Tupperware, because they're all stuffed with turkey or timpana.
2. ... and tins of Nanna's ħelu
You just can't say no to butter-biscuit tins filled with torta tal-marmurat, coconut balls and pudina tal-ħobż.
3. You're ambushed at every corner by rogue Ferrero Rochers
There's no escape.
4. Or Quality Street
They're at every corner.
5. Or Baci
There's also gonna be a lot of Mon Cheris... but no one's eating those.
6. And you probably have enough panettone to build a village (for giants)
You know, if you're one of those (wrong) people who actually enjoys panettone.
7. It's too cold for exercise...
You feel the chill in your bones, and the rain is just an added risk for injury. No thank you.
8. ... or to eat salad
I don't need a frostbite-inducing lettuce leaf anywhere near my face.
9. Nothing warms you like a hot chocolate
Seriously, who in their right mind would deny a warm mug sipped by a rainy window.
10. More so if it has a little kick in it
Alcohol. We mean alcohol. And unfortunately that shit is very fattening.
11. You're staying in a lot more
So the munchies are through the roof, and delivery is a gift we cannot deny.
12. And the cold makes you hungry
We're sure there's science to back it up... somewhere.
13. People keep bringing you their shit
Just when you think your leftovers are on the decline, someone comes over and brings their own mountain of leftovers with them.