Reasons You Got Sick This Winter, According To Your Nanna
1. Your top was too skullat
To a nanna a low-cut top is one that shows off more than your clavicle, and a short dress is anything that shows a little hint of thigh. It’s not about decency anymore, it’s about being ready for the cold weather.
L-aqwa x-xalla, Christine.
2. You didn’t eat enough veggies
The minestra you refused last Sunday – it could have been the boost your immune system needed. But you didn’t listen did you?
3. You didn’t dry every last millimeter of your hair
Don’t you know that’s the secret to getting sick in a heartbeat? It doesn’t matter if you weren’t planning on going out all day – your hair has been wet and there is no saving you now.
4. You don’t have a good jacket
No, she doesn’t care that you’re currently wearing one. It’s not fluffy enough – and it never will be, at least not for the Maltese winter’s terrible tens.
The main requirement is simple, the jacket must cover your ass.
5. And you took it off too soon
There’s an unspoken decompression period from when you’ve stepped in through the front door where you must bake in the warmth of a home. If you remove your jacket a second before those ten minutes are up, well then this illness is on you.
6. You drank too much
Remember that one family Christmas party back in 2009 where you drank three glasses of wine? You’ve officially been labelled as an alcoholic and your weakened state is probably why you’re sick.
7. You didn’t go outside enough
The sun and its marvellous healing powers also carry on through winter, we do live on an island after all.
8. You made too many friends at the ‘discoteque’
I.e. you got around a bit too much in Paceville. Do you know how easily germs spread when you hold hands?!
9. You switched on the heater when you felt cold
Sure, it seems like a logical thing to do. But then what happens when you have to brave the cold, and you’re all warm and fuzzy? Sickness. That’s what.
Bonus: “Kemm ilek ma tmur il-quddies?”
How long has it been since you went to mass?
#JustSayin …
