Maltese Real Estate Website Descriptions vs. The Truth
Property searching can be fun if you’ve got the patience of a saint. For the rest of us, it is a long, tedious process of anticlimactic disappointments. The supposedly ‘sought-after’ area advertised on the real estate website turned out to be a house nested between Carmen il-ġellieda and Nancy in-nittiena. As for the penthouse you really liked…
‘X’penthaws? Dak ilna li għamilna il-promise of sale!’
Here are but a few examples of what is listed on Maltese property websites and what they really mean:
1. ‘Some Maintenance Needed’
i.e. ‘Ħa jaqa’ s-saqaf bro’
2. ‘No Detail Was Spared’
i.e. Ħa ssib xeba bolavostri u ljuni
3. ‘With Some Imagination, This Property Could Be Converted Into A Charming Family Home.’
i.e. Għandek bżonn ponn magic mushrooms.
Exactly how much imagination are we talking about here? Lewis Carroll kind of imagination?
4. Designer Finish
i.e. Mejda tal-ħgieg, naqra wall art tal-JB u ejja ħa mmorru.
5. Some Updates Needed
i.e. Ħa jaqbdek depression papali malli tidħol bro.
6. Distant Sea Views
i.e. Għandek bżonn binoculars.
‘Ħa titwerreċ bro’
7. Ideal For A Rental Investment
i.e. Mhux ta quddiem in-nies imma għal dak il- bouncer Bulgariż jgħaddi, ta.
8. ‘Enjoying Fantastic Countryside Views’
i.e. Hemm il-ħmar ta’ Kola eżatt faċċata u ħa tidgħi biex tmur għax-xogħol filgħodu.
9. Good-Sized Back Terrace
i.e. Biżżejjed biex tonxor il-lożor u l-panti.
10. Cosy Property
i.e. M’hemmx fejn tboss.
11. Viewings Highly Recommended
i.e. M’hemmx li neħilsu minnu dan il-post!
Bonus: No Price Listed
i.e. Oħlom bro. #insa #Żmienlgħaks
Ah, the power of words.