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12 Minor Changes If Sex And The City Was Based In Valletta

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Ever since Sex & The City graced our screens for the very first time in 1998, we’ve been obsessed with the group of four friends’ trials and tribulations of trying to find love and er, sex in the city of New York. It was on way past our bedtime and whilst we used to be jel of the cocktail bar and brunching lifestyle, way back before the invention of avocado on toast, we now have all of that for the taking here in modern Malta. 

Between the studio apartments, boutique hotels and interior designer GBFs we reckon Malta’s Sex & The City would be pretty much the same. But we couldn’t help but wonder what difference it would make if the iconic TV show was set on Valletta’s shallow steps, rather than the sidewalks of Manhattan…

The Jobs

1. Carrie Bradshaw and co would have the same jobs. Carrie has her own blog but a writes for the Sunday papers in her regular sex and relationships column, where she puts women’s issues in Malta to task. She’d spend her days typing away on her MacBook, switching it up from Prego to Jubilee. On a fresh day she’ll head to Caffe Cordina for some people watching over a cappuccino or an Old Fashioned from Ellul after a busy day.

Carrie

2. The Maltese Samantha works in PR and can usually be found outside Charles Grech. She’s always on the phone and never without an Aperol Spritz. She’s your go-to woman if you want to take your business stratospheric, and can put you in touch with just about anyone, get you on the guest list for the latest classical concert at Teatru Manoel, or sort out tickets for Dinner In The Sky at a moment’s notice.

Samantha

3. Charlotte is super busy trying to get everything just right for V18. She’s been working on it for as long as she can remember and under her watch, it’s set to run like clockwork. She’s got contacts in the art-world from all over. They love her. When she’s not overseeing “the hang” of the latest Fine Art Photography show at Spazju Kreattiv, she’s across the square at Cafe Castille with a freshly squeezed orange juice.

Charlotte

4. Miranda is a lawyer. She’s about to be made a partner at the South Street Law Firm she’s been working at since she graduated. If there’s anyone who can serve justice when it comes to human rights or separation proceedings, it’s her. One day she’d like to set up her own firm just outside the Capital in Floriana, but for now she can be found having important meetings over hushed lunches at Rubino

Miranda

The Fashion

5. Carrie can throw an outfit together from just about anything. She knows all the best thrift shops in the Capital but she doesn’t just give away secrets like that. She’s obsessed with Ritienne Żammit and Luke Azzopardi, and most of her paycheques from the newspaper, after rent of course – go on frivolous gowns that she wears for exhibition openings and book signings. And poetry nights at Ġugar. And pop-ups at Camerata. And cocktails on the steps at Cafe Society. Wherever, actually.

Wardrobe

6. Samantha adores Charles & Ron. She remembers when they were just starting out, they’re friends. She went through a phase of not wearing their stuff when she saw teenagers wearing their balcony print but she doesn’t care anymore. She wears the full look, but better. On the weekends she’ll throw on one of her Isle & Aqua one-pieces for the rooftop pool or a Parascandalo t-shirt for brunch. She has two of each.

Satc Girls

7. Charlotte just really likes to keep it classic. She has a Sef Farruġia scarf for everyday of the week, and walks to work via a detour through St Lucy Street to admire all the beautiful jewellery and diamond brooches. She loves Mary Grace Pisani and wears her stuff with a nod to Jackie Onassis, her all time favourite. She’s got most the Cessani structured handbags, ladylike and roomy enough for her two phones.

Angry Charlotte

8. Miranda hates shopping, so she’ll just arrange for the new Karen Millen collection to be brought to her office as soon as it hits the shops. She buys most of her clothes when she’s in Rome on business anyway. 

Miranda Two Hats

The Men

9. Carrie can’t make her mind up. She was seeing this up-and-coming politician who, it turns out had some very odd kinks. Then there was that nice guy, the sculptor with the dog. She’s now chasing this neurotic double bass player with more issues than Vogue around the city’s jazz bars. Maybe one day she’ll set her eyes on charismatic Mr Big who’s snapped up most one-bedrooms in Old Bakery Street…

Mr Big

10. Samantha prefers to be single than wait around for Mr Right. There was that one lesbian relationship with that earthy-type but they both got on each-others’ nerves after a while. They still meet at Wild Honey sometimes for a catch-up. But there is one guy who’s caught her eye. An ex-waterpolo player turned lettings agent who she just knows would be perfect for that Franks advert. That’s a great excuse to make that call. 

Ill Bring The Cocktails

11. Charlotte is freshly divorced after her marriage to that aristocratic shipping heir didn’t end well. She’s sworn off mummy’s boys for fear she’d have to deal with another interfering kunjata. At the moment she’s texting this really lovely journalist, she can’t believe she’s never seen him around before. They said they’d go for drinks at San Paolo Naufrago sometime soon, but she’s not sure if she’s quite ready just yet. 

Chaarlotte

12. Miranda is so busy that she has to pencil in her own date nights with her boyfriend. He opened up this funky new bar in Strait Street so he works late too. Going out for dinner just seems like work to her so she’d rather stay in with him on the weekends with a Fetch It takeaway from Zero Sei and watch Xarabank. Ironically of course.

Drinking Girls

Tag a Maltese SATC obsessed friend in the comments on Facebook! 

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