If there’s one thing that gives the Maltese even more pleasure than eating pastizzi or complaining about traffic, it’s adding Maltese lyrics to songs. And when we find ourselves among a group of people where everyone knows the amended lyrics (like at every single wedding or water polo match), we literally go ape-shit as chant together in pure glee. So here’s a list of songs we’ve expropriated. We’re sure you can add more to the list.
1. Zombie Nation – U x’ala żobbna min kulħadd mit-Tnejn sal-Ħadd
As if this club classic wasn’t already Maltese enough, we immortalised it in the most Maltese way possible.
2. Madan – My Nanna Cut My Hair
Skip to 0.37 seconds and replace the chorus with ‘My nanna cut my hair, my nanna cut my hair, I told her don’t you dare, my nanna cut my hair.’
Fun fact: France has its own version of this same song.
3. Zombie – Zobbi
We really can’t hear the word zombie without thinking żobbi, the Maltese word for “my dick”.
4. Felicita – Feliċita
Maltese people love this Al Bano’s classic. But we still wanted our own twist. And it’s peak Malta.
5. Tarantella – Qaddisin Malta
Not for the fainthearted. This is a tour de force of blasphemy. Sometimes Malta really delivers.
6. 500 Miles – Tal-Alla
Skip to 2.45, wrap your arms around somebody’s shoulders, and sing: Tal-Alla, Tal-Alla etc etc
7. Bomba – Xommha
This is the original. And this is what should have been the original.
8. Strani Amori – Connie
Another Italian classic turned into a beautiful gem of a Maltese song.
9. Hotel California – Lukanda Kalifornja
This is just a beautiful reminder of what life was like in Malta back in the 1980s.
10. Hey Jude – Literally anything we want it to say
In this case, Sliema. Spot Sean Gravina.
Christmas BONUS: Last Christmas – Biex Tlaqtni Stenejt il-Milied
We don’t understand this either.