Batshit Things Maltese Parents Say To Discipline Their Children
Excuse me, you'll do what?!
One of the very first things you'll notice when you go abroad is just how quiet people are. Even in a city of millions of people, it seems like not one voice hovers even remotely above a loud whisper. And somehow, this also includes children.
While parents all around the world might have their own way of making sure their children behave in public, Malta's methods are basically mental.
Here are some which you might have heard before. Disclaimer: these threats are used figuratively and not literally – you can stop dialling child services now.
1. "Jekk tweġġa nkompli ntik"
(If you hurt, I'll keep hitting you)
So it wasn't enough that the little kid just tripped over - now he's got his mother's wrath to look out for.
(Too grim to translate)
Oh man, you're done now. If you hear this in public, make it a point to look at the potential victim and mouth "Good Luck."
3. "Jiġi jieklok il-Babaw!"
(A creepy creature will come and eat you)
The original Babadook. We still regularly check under our beds at night...just in case.
4. "Ħa ngħid lil papa'/mama'!"
(I'm going to tell dad/mum)
Oh no, anything but telling the actually much stricter parent! Shit's about to get real.
(I'll give you a nosebleed)
Real classy parenting guys, keep it up.
BONUS: "Issa tara, kif naslu d-dar..."
(You'll see, wait till we arrive home)
The worst possible thing to hear. This threat is so bad, they didn't even want to utter it in public. Brace yourself kiddo, the 'I'm disappointed' speech is coming.