From 10-minute Vine compilations to non-sensical vlogs, YouTube offers millions of options to help you waste your time wisely. There’s no denying that Malta’s discovery of this online platform has been the catalyst for the creation of some of the island’s best digital content.
With so much footage to go through, we thought we’d boil Maltese YouTube culture down to our eight favourite videos, the videos that helped define our very fabric.
8. Raġel Tipiku Malti (Il-Mekkanik Tar-Roti)
From the classic Nokia ringtone playing every five seconds to the bright red Comic Sans font used for subtitles (just in case you couldn’t make out the mekkanik’s strings of insults), this video screams mid-00s.
Our favourite quote: “M’hemmx iktar rota, għax ġibtielek ħ*ra!”
7. Iż-Żaqqoċċ – Ħa Narah
A Maltese grocery store, a guy named Pawlu and a story about watering your plants. We have absolutely no idea what’s happening in this video, but we’re loving all of it.
Our favourite quote: “Għax Madonna jiġi l-kbir, u neħel JIENA.”
It might not do much for some, but this bread-vendor has inspired us to kickstart our own brand of teddy-bears which scream “tal-ħobż!” when squeezed hard enough.
Our favourite quote: (drumroll please) “TAL-ĦOOOBŻ”
5. Norman Lowell – Presente
This just might be the most quotable video of the bunch.
The polarising Norman Lowell might have been the centrepiece of this video, but it’s the host painfully back holding his laughter that’s the cherry-on-top.
Our favourite quote: “Carmelo Borg Pisani… PRESENTE”
4. Malta Donut Guy
This hunk of a man eating doughnuts by the beach, bare-chested, is the epitome of Maltese beauty.
Our favourite quote: “Kemm int ħanżir ħanina Madonna.” (also honourable mention: “Tlieta u nofs, b’tat-tifla!”)
3. Funny Maltese Man (Mummy’s Going To Venice)
This guy just ruined Venice for everyone, but his incredibly specific one-liners make it OK.
Our favourite quote: “Goody good girl choir chick.” (honourable mention: that fucking “Lacrosse player” ending)
2. Bonġu Bundy
Above and beyond being a local classic, this video tells a story of local persistence. We could all relate to Doreen as she mindlessly guessed the answer to John Bundy’s friendly opening question in hope of walking away with a Peach & Sorrel voucher.
Come on Doreen, inti toqgħod fil-għoli!
Our favourite quote: “Għinni naqra John!”
1. Innu Malti Remix
Move over Dun Karm; we’ve got a new national anthem.
Once again, Daniel Dean Kingswell had come through with a quality compilation in his heyday, perfectly encompassing Maltese culture. You just know it’s about to get turnt when you hear Hector Bruno’s iconic ‘Buonasera’.
And the fact that half the videos on this list feature in this one video (along with countless others) just makes it so much better.
Our favourite quote: “Ommi dilettanta tal-artisti…”
Honourable Mention: Il-Kastell ta’ Fomm ir-Riħ
More of an audiobook than a video, Il-Kastell ta’ Fomm ir-Riħ sounds a lot like 50 Shades of Grey and Split’s love-child. With the narrator playing every single one of the characters, we’re pretty sure he’s giving James McAvoy a run for his money.