Every once in a while, the internet provides us with a gift that lasts a lifetime. And one of these gifts comes in the form of a YouTube series called ‘Shit Malta People Say’; a collection of video montages that first popped up back in 2012, uploaded by a local artist call Jon Aedyn King.
What makes the videos so iconic is the language; a hilarious composition of “ma”, “ta”, “like”, and awful pronunciation that characterises what’s come to be known as ‘Maltenglish’.
Here are some of our favourite moments from the videos.
This video is dedicated to Malta’s nouveaux riches, the “nuvos”, who have so much money they don’t know what to do with it.
1. “You’re for the Sunday Cricle ahy?”
Yes… cricle. Not Circle.
2. “My name? Rowbert.”
Honestly, anything this guy says is golden. We could probably dedicate an entire article to Rowbert.
3. “Aha I do Pilots and Yoga”
“Pilates? Pilots? Kif jg?idulha?”
4. “Tomorrow my wife makes fon-dew and we have it on the pat-io with the outer heaters”
You have to say it like it’s written. Otherwise it’s wrong.
5. “Some bitch told me my number plate is falling off”
And also, this;
6. “I do my haarrr”
His haarrr is beautiful, TBH.
7. “10am. Kids at school. Gin and Tonic. Let’s time to gamble.”
“10:30am. Two thousand down the bloody drain.” Ja?asra.
The next video is full of our favourite ‘Malteseisms’ and all the words that we invent.
1. “You bought the orange juice of the peach?”
Plus, this guy has the BEST hair.
2. “X tray”
For the ankle she “sprayed”.
Darlene also has entire videos to herself. If you only watch one thing, watch this video from three minutes in. Please.
3. “No, understand me this.”
Don’t you dare touch my PuGu.
4. “For me, the best water is of the rivers of Moses.”
Be honest, there was a time in your life where you thought that was what it’s actually called.
5. “Eeee, sevENty all over hundred she got my Marcolette.”
Thanks god touch the wood his children are all genies at school.
And finally, the OG ‘Shit Malta People Say’ video; ‘tal-pepe’.
1. “Guys, let’s do a Barbecue, and like bring the fjakkoli like”
This guy is all the St. Edward’s boys you had a crush on and now regret.
2. “Maaa sorry g?ax inkella she doesn’t understand me”
This woman tries very hard to speak in Maltese to her maid.
3. “Madonna, there’s no more Glic around?”
We all need a glass of Glicine in our life.
BONUS: This… um… trip.
It’s ok if you don’t understand it. We don’t either. But we had to include it.