Whether you’re sitting for your O-Levels or cramming for your mid-year anatomy exam, you know the feeling: having every last quote from Qawsalla (is that still a thing?) leaking out of your ears, or blanking on the passage of the twelve cranial nerves, one thing’s for sure: one Maltese parent or other authority figure is sure to chime in during your moment of need with a less-than-helpful remark.
1. Id-domna ħadta miegħek?
The blessed medal of St. Whatsit will be there to remind you about that one time you forwent studying to binge on 13 Reasons Why. And Stranger Things. And The Crown.
2. Ħa tieħu xi ħaġa x’tnaqqar għal waqt l-eżami?
Sure. We’ll get back to you after internally deliberating whether a granola bar and the swilling waves of impending nausea sound like a great combo.
3. Imma dak mhux diġa’ studjatu?
Yes. And I have holes in my brain. Go away.
4. Mhux aħjar torqod ftit qabel l-eżami?
Given the alternative, nightmares sound like a great idea. Ah wait, the nausea’ back.
5. Issa li hemm hemm. Li taf, taf
6. Missek bdejt tistudja qabel
Refer to point 5.
7. Uwijja dak faċli ta. Mhux iċ-chapter ta’ [subject of choice]?
Yes. Your feeble attempt at relatability is being sorely marred by you compressing an entire semester’s worth of knowledge into “uwijja dak facli ta”. But sure, I’ll play along.