We might’ve grown up watching the likes of Del Piero and Ronaldo (the OG Brazilian) tear up the pitch, but back in Malta, anyone growing up in the 90s had their own way of playing. And if you’ve ever been scorned by someone older telling you it’s all a chaotic, ruleless mess, you know how wrong they were. 

Here are eight… alternative football rules that all Maltese kids growing up in the 90s definitely remember. Heck, you might still use a couple of these nowadays.

1. There were no maximum player quotas

Sure, you might want to start out with a classic, strict five-a-side match, but when your friends started arriving one by one, who were you to say no? 

You were either going to have to accept them, or they were going to join the opposing team and foul you the moment they get a chance.

Eventually, the whole escalates into a 17-a-side riot.

“Ġej, ħa mmur ngħid lil sieħbi biex jiġi magħna forsi nirbħu.”

2. Everyone got to have a go at being goalkeeper…

Whether you’re quick and nimble or slow and defensive, your time in the goal would always come eventually.

There might either have been some specific structures in place, such as the goalkeeper changing with every couple of goals scored. 

Good luck lasting longer than five minutes when the balls start whizzing past. 

“Dawn attapposta qed jixxuttjaw aktar bis-saħħa jew?

3. … unless they picked the fattest one and left them there

Of course, they don’t particularly say that that’s the reason. You might’ve been picked because you had a really good game last week. They might’ve also said that everyone needs to get their turn (see the above point).

But eventually, you’d know what’s really going on, and why you magically keep getting picked. That is, unless you had a bunch of very outspoken friends.

“Uwijja għidu lilu, dak jgħattiha lasta waħdu!”

4. There were no referees, only very loud players

And the louder you got, the better your case was for getting the free kick. Shout loud enough and show everyone your scratched knee, and you might even convince everyone to take a penalty.

Speaking of penalties, these were always the most controversial decisions around.  Frequently escalating into a whole group fight, penalties were actually the way of toning it all down into a token goal. Unless the guy from Point 3 was goalie, of course.

“Mela qed tiġġennen jew?! FOUL!”

5. No ball, no problem

The person who owned a ball was veritable royalty, but that didn’t mean that a match wasn’t going to take place if they didn’t show up.

A plastic bottle, a tin can, a small pebble… anything would have to do. And it did.

“Uwijja ejja, billi nfaqa’ l-ballun tgħid mhux se noqogħdu niefqu!”

6. Kicking a ball over a fence or under a car were the absolute worst

If there’s one thing we had a lot of when we were kids, it’s energy. Add to that the adrenaline of a two-hour football match that’s stuck at a score of 30 – 23, and the last you’d want is for the match to suddenly be interrupted by losing the ball. 

Sure, you can always carry on with a plastic bottle, but if there’s a perfectly good ball just calling out your name over a fence or under a car, someone had to go and fish it out. And the moments of silence and stillness were absolute torture for everyone just dying to go.

“Mhux int qabbistu? Mela aqbeż ghaliħ!”

7. Normal game times never applied

Two 45 minute halves and a 15 minute break in between? Who are we kidding!

There were only ever two match times; the one hour recess duration, or the ‘indefinite’ one where matches only ended when everyone was absolutely exhausted, or spirits were so low that a whole team just gave up.

“Tlaqna l’hemm ejja għax ħa taqbeż issa!”

8. When all else failed, whoever scored the last goal got to win the whole match

Never mind that your team might’ve been winning by like 10 goals for the last hour. If everyone gets fed up and wants to leave, there’s only way of settling things. 

“Min jiskurja jirbaħ!”

Tag someone who remembers these rules all too well!

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David Grech Urpani

Lovin Malta's Head of Content, Dave has been in journalism for the better half of the last decade. Prefers Instagram, but has been known to doomscroll on TikTok. Loves chicken, women's clothes and Kanye West (most of the time).