It’s over. Depending on your skills when planning your leave, your five- or seven-day long weekend has come to an end, and the harsh reality of work is upon you.

If you’re in need of some TLC, here are the stages you’ll probably go through.

1. Stage One: Denying the weekend is over

Avoid all Instagram posts

Sadly, no matter how hard you browse through #longweekend photos you go through, you are back at your nine-to-five. Straighten up, drink your coffee, and adult like the confused millennial you are.

2. Stage Two: Anger at your inability to hold your own liquor

Stock up on Rennies

You know you had way too much to drink over the weekend. That persistent feeling of imminent doom is your stomach saying what the actual fuck bruh.

Buy Rennies. Stay safe. Avoid vodka.

3. Stage Three: Bargaining your way into a lazier work schedule

Work hard, party hard, work less, cry shit-tonnes.

As days go by, you promise yourself an amazing time after work, and with each passing day that bittersweet memory of you dancing on top of the sunbed in that one farmhouse in Xaghra makes work even harder.

4. Stage Four: Depressed at the fact that you’re not in Gozo anymore

You live in Malta. Get over it.

We’re pretty sure that the majority of the Gozo populace is happy you’re not there. Besides, the farmhouses are still recovering from Malta-induced shell-shock.

5. Stage Five: Accepting that Carnival will come around soon enough

Six months to go… six months to go…

It’ll be alright in the end. You’ll resume your routine for another six months and then #zibzallnight for another long weekend before quickly realising you literally wasted another year of your life and the entire cycle repeats itself.

Tag a friend who’s still stuck at Stage Two.

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Matthew Baldacchino

Self-titled resident SJW and expressionless in-house Head of Internal Marketing. Matt loves prepping vegan and vegetarian food, consumes way too much coffee, and has an unhealthy penchant for storyboarded Instagram Stories. When he's not trying to figure out social media policies, marketing strategies or cracking SEO conundrums, you can catch him as the host of Basically, Livestream Of Consciousness or Lovin Daily. Hit him up if you've got a story about the environment, arts and culture, health, politics and activism, or LGBTQI+ issues. He's also a doctor, but we don't talk about that.