Stages Of Visiting A Cold Country As A Maltese Person
1. Lemme pack my entire winter wardrobe just in case
Seriously, I checked the weather and it’s gonna be freezing.
2. Actually, I’ll still pack some shorts in case it gets sunny
We live in hope.
3. Uwejja, it’s not that cold! It gets much colder in Malta
I can totally do this.
4. And what the hell is this thin, weak rain?
Seriously it feels like a gentle spritz to wake you up.
5. It’s kinda hot under all these layers
Starting to sweat a little actually.
6. OMG did I enter a house or a sauna?! What is this oppressive heat?
Starting to sweat a lot actually.
7. “So how’s Malta?” “Well it’s non-stop sunshine and we don’t have to deal with this shit”
Seriously, where is your sun? Is it ok?
8. Jesus. Maybe I should have packed warmer things
Although the warmest thing I own is this light coat I’m currently shivering in.
9. Ok, I might as well bin these shorts and flip-flops
But what if we go swimm- no. They’re gone.
10. I have found the solution: I will eat my way to warmth
It is the only way.
11. Take me home… take me hoooooome
Please.
