With Amazon unveiling their latest foray into making everyone’s life that little bit easier, everything is set for a new wave of not having to deal with people on a daily basis.
Their new technology will allow users to pick up what they want from a store, and just walk out. All you need to do is scan your barcode on the way in, and everything you pick will be automatically detected, and charged to your account.
But when the idea finally catches on locally in 2025, what will become of all those people we’ve grown to love? Here’s a few people we’re totally going to miss.
1. The person who keeps going back for one more item
If you’re reaching over for a pack of gum, that’s fine. If you’re sending your child to put the chocolate they snuck in back onto the shelf, that’s also fine. But if you’ve sent out your minions (or worse, leave yourself) to live-shop while the cashier beeps your items through, then we thoroughly won’t miss you.
2. The cashier who induces packing anxiety
Without cashiers to wish you ‘all the best’ during the festive season, your day may get a little duller. But at least your heart won’t suffer as much.
Gone will be the days of the panic-pack, as you desperately try to shove items in your bag while the cashier rains the following customer’s treats down the silver slide.
We’re looking at you, LIDL cashiers #PleaseChill
3. The cheese counter blabber
Ordering €150 worth of cured meats and cheeses, this person will need to know the exact dimensions of the slices they’ll be serving on their toastie tonight. What’s the hurry? Everyone loves wasting 30 minutes of their life waiting in fluorescent lighting to collect 200g of cheddar.
4. The person who brings 200 things to the ’10 or less’ aisle
Nobody cares if they’re small items, or multiple of the same. If you have more than 10 – bounce.
5. The person who wants a total rundown of their saved up points
Isn’t there an app that can do this for you? Or a separate queue for nanniet who want to know if they can get a free tin of catfood?
Bonus: The local grocer
No sarcasm here. Everyone in Malta has a grocer down the road they know by name (or probably family nickname) who makes a quick trip to their shop that little bit brighter. Their sweet, old mother sitting in the back, secretly sliding you a karawetta will also be missed when robots take over the world… err Amazon Go comes to Malta.