What If The Maltese Were Allowed To Name The 7 New Planets

Honestly, just leave it in our hands

Planet Cover

Since discovering seven new planets on a not-too-distant star, NASA has asked the public to help name them. Since the results were (unsurprisingly) disastrous, we thought we'd suggest a few potential ideas on behalf of the Maltese people for #7NamesFor7NewPlanets

1. Name them after our Presidents

Marie Louise, George, Eddie, Guido, Ugo, Censu, Agatha and Anton

Fine, one will have to be drawn at random to be a moon. Still awesome names though.


2. Name them after our Eurovision stars

Chiara, Ira, Mary, Fabrizio, Gianluca, Claudette and Claudia

The double Faniellos may share a planet, giving us room to slot in a #Judwig or Renato.


3. Name them after our clubs

Havana, Plush, Sky, Aria, Gianpula, Tattingers, Grotta

If you're in it for the nostalgia, replace a few with Kayote, Browns and so on.


4. Name them like Hugo

Hugo's planet, Hugo's space rock, Hugo's new Earth, Hugo's E.T., Hugo's explore, Hugo's dinja and Hugo's

Simple and to the point. Plus you'd get the flight there sponsored.

Hugpos Cover

5. Name them after snack

Twistees, Tastees, Krips, Jumbos, Bacos, Chimpees and Tal-Basal

And force each planet to make it their official snack.

Lovin Cover 9

6. Name them after our TV shows

Xarabank, Becky, Sfida, Liquorish, Tista, Tkun and Int

What? It's not like Rachel can't pay.

Hbieb U Ghedewwa

7. Name them after all our obsessions

Pannettone, Politics, Prayer, Potato, Pastizz, Processions and Paceville

Sorted. Forget the rest, it must be these.

Jack In The Box Feature

Tag someone who has some better ideas on Facebook!

READ NEXT: 8 Maltese People Who Forget Personal Space Is A Thing

Written By

Chucky Bartolo

If there's no Mariah Carey GIF or reference to Eurovision in this article, just assume they've been edited out against my will.