Turn Away From Satan With This Maltese Website That Looks Like It Was Designed In 1998
The power of Word Art compels you
Religion in Malta is still a very important factor in everyday life. And while not everyone might believe in a heaven in the clouds and a hell bathed in fire, a lot of Maltese people are still terrified at the concept of Satan and his dark followers.
Thankfully for all those people, we found this amazing website which is working hard to keep Satan at bay. This site was designed by someone for local exorcists to fight Satan and good design.
1. It has music
Allegedly. Whenever you open the page, a sound file gets downloaded to your computer.
But it's a .mid file which doesn't open on iTunes or any other normal media players. Maybe try Garage Band?
2. They write articles
But you cannot read them online.
Instead, they are downloaded without permission on your computer. They’re brilliant Word documents throwing shade at Satan.
3. They confuse us
Some of the documents and articles are confusing, clearly stating that you totally should make a pact with Satan. You can get everything you need from our Lord.
He might not care about us, but he will give us that lifetime supply of free Chicken Fillet burgers from Chick-King.
4. They hold press releases
Which are more downloadable Word documents... mostly about Halloween and Satan, because of course.
5. The published material is so good
And you cannot read it, ever.
We keep clicking on random links and nothing happens.
6. You can submit a prayer...
In exchange for your name, house address, telephone number and a prayer. #StalkerVibes
7. ... but it's a total ripoff
You can never really submit your prayer.
We pressed the button nine times, and nothing happened. The page did not load and we did not get any bitches, alcohol, money or chinchillas.
8. They suggest sites
And it’s an updated section (oh wow).
We clicked on the Da Vinci Code one and it redirected us to the most insightful Jesus information in the universe.