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The 13 Desperate Stages Of Going Up To Gozo In Winter

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Gozo is a popular summer destination. Everyone loves going over there for some peace of mind, and whether it’s summer or winter, all Maltese people need a cheeky Gozo weekend.

In fact, some people specifically decide to plan a trip to Gozo during the winter months. The trip itself is a magical one, but the planning and journey to the island is straight out of hell.

Here are the stages of planning a trip to Gozo in winter.

1. Planning the trip

Ok so this is exciting, specifically because people don’t usually hang out in Gozo when it isn’t summer. This is going to be an amazing adventure. All you need to do is find a place to stay at and spots to visit… and pick out which one of the two rival pizza spots you’re going to eat at.

2. Deciding what to pack

Swimsuits are out. So what do you pack for a trip to Gozo?

You’ll probably pack like five different outfits due to your nerve-shattering anxiety. A toothbrush for sure, underwear and your phone charger is also a must. We guess you’re done… ?

3. Realising that it’s just a weekend trip and you packed way too much stuff

You start removing those five extra outfits you packed. What now? You end up having to downgrade to a small backpack.

4. The adventure begins

Ok so you got in your car. You’ll drive a long long way to Ċirkewwa hoping that you won’t need to wait for the ferry at all.

5. The queue to the ferry will be a total downer

Turns out you end up waiting in a long car queue. It doesn’t matter; you’ll just sing along to whatever is playing on the radio now and wait to board.

6. You finally get on the boat

After what feels like hours, you finally get on the ferry. Let the adventure begin.

Just kidding, you still have the ferry torture to go through.

7. You get the traditional terrible ferry coffee because you have no choice

You start feeling mildly depressed and hopeless, but goddamnit you need this coffee. You cannot risk sleeping on this god forsaken boat. You will do this. You’re a strong human being, you’re unbreakable.

8. The doom settles in

What the hell were you thinking? Gozo in winter? What’s up with this coffee? Why the hell is it raining now? Oh god, the boat is tilting AF.

You spend the next 15 minutes listening in on other people’s conversations, because what else is there to do?

9. You’re already tired AF

The rocking boat isn’t helping at all.

You start getting drowsy and that coffee didn’t do anything for you at all. Was it decaf? Maybe you should sit outside and listen to some music.

10. Everything is getting on your nerves

Literally. The benches are making you uncomfortable and the sea spray is irritating you. Everything is horrible. Why on Earth did you get on this boat? You feel like you’re trapped for eternity in one of hell’s circles.

11. You finally land

As soon as the ship arrives you run down to your vehicle. You settle in as fast as you can and turn on your car radio. You can’t wait to get on the move again.

12. You sleep all the way to the lodging… unless you’re the one driving

If you’re lucky enough to not drive to your designated sleeping spot, you will definitely fall asleep along the way. Everything you just did was way more tiring than a whole week of working.

13. You finally arrive at your destination

Tired, defeated and sweaty, you will waste away your first evening in the mystical land of Gozo lying in bed and sleeping away your boat blues. I

t’s OK, you deserve a rest. Tomorrow you’ll get up and enjoy every last minute of it, because there’s no Gozo like winter Gozo.

Tag someone who knows the struggle all too well!

READ NEXT: Things All Maltese People Do When They Go To Gozo

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