Being a woman in Malta comes with its perks and woes, but one thing’s for sure – at that time of the month the island feels like its working with all its resources solely to make your life miserable.
Here’s a few things that Maltese women have to suffer through on a four-to-six week basis.
1. You succumb to a world of carbs and fat
Pastizzi and Maxim’s pizzas were definitely invented by someone who had their period.
2. You can’t go anywhere near your family
For fear of murdering one of them when they inevitably comment about your appearance.
3. A case of riħ isfel quickly turns into an irreparable self-confidence crisis
Tip: don’t try to reason with us.
4. The heat feels like you’re actually at the centre of hell
Never leaving your air-conditioned bedroom is the safest solution.
5. And going to the beach is not without its own ordeals
Tampon-leak-phobia is a thing.
6. Public toilets are the stuff of nightmares
Stalls either look like a crack-house on a bad day, or they have no lock on the door. Or both.
7. Your innately fiery character escalates into virtually psychotic behaviour
Damn these Mediterranean genes.
8. Which isn’t helped by the hundreds of comments you’ll get about being “hormonal”
“Kemm tiflaħ tkun antipatku għid?”
9. Even if they’re totally legit…