Annoying Things All Maltese Parents Do On Facebook
Parents on Facebook, we salute you! You are awesome just for trying to keep up with the times. However, there are a few things we need to talk about. You might want to take a seat for this.
These social media crimes need to stop.
1. Writing on your own wall
We’re not sure whether this is more embarrassing or hilarious, but for your own sake, it needs to stop. This includes wishing people a very happy birthday and a year of love and prosperity, on your own wall. Without tagging them.
2. Vandalising your children’s walls
Your child may have once made the grave mistake of letting slip that they found baby apes cute. Their wall hasn’t been the same since. You’ve ensured that any ape clip in existence has ‘found itself’ on their wall…if not your own. (See point #1).
‘Ma kinitx kelma!’
3. Misinterpreting acronyms
Hate to break it to you but – ‘LOL’ does not stand for ‘Lots Of Love’. Commenting ‘Looking great. lol.‘ on your daughter-in-law’s photos will only widen the already Amazon basin-sized rift between the two of you. FFS.
4. Typing ‘Amen’ to save people
Typing ‘Amen’ will not save anybody. Not typing ‘Amen’ will not cause anybody’s death.
5. Signing Messages
You needn’t sign Facebook messages with your name as you would an email. Your name and surname already appear at the top of every message, unless you’re hiding behind a nickname like Bertu ‘il-king Valletta’ Borg. We went over the same thing about text messages a while back, remember? Same rule applies.
6. Posting embarrassing photos of your children
If you want your children to turn into raging alcoholics, keep posting photos of them rolling around naked on the sand at Għadira in the nineties.
7. Being a #NumberOneFan
Sharing is caring. But sharing every single thing your child posts is also a sure way of getting yourself blocked;
‘Cloibert has checked in to ‘Steam’.
*Mum shares this*
On the same level is excessive liking and commenting on every one of your offspring’s Facebook photos.
Parent: My baby xxx
Offspring: Dad… that’s me throwing up outside Hefu Bar.
8. Sharing Videos…
…minus the actually sharing of said video.
Parent: Great song, lots of nostalgia xxx
Offspring: Pero you forgot the link…lol
Parent: haha oops… lots of love back xxx
