Golden Bay's Beach Volleyball Festival Is Serving Up Cool Vibes, Hilarious Team Names And Wacky Costumes
This is why we should probably never be allowed to name anything ever
As the temperature in Malta steadily sky rockets and the sun retakes its place as the deadliest thing in the sky, we can well and truly say that summer is just around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with a little beach side fun at a fully-fledged beach volleyball tournament?
Slam Tilt's Beach Volley Fest is returning to Golden Bay for an explosive seventh edition this weekend
So don't forget to bring something to block the sun. Did you get it?
There's so much to look forward to
Beyond the massive 68-team tournament, which sounds like perfectly constructed chaos, there will also be a few competitions, such as Best Dressed and Best Team Name, music throughout the day featuring DJ Poldan T, and with the famous restaurant Munchies right there and a specially set up bar, there'll be plenty of food and drink for the day.
Let's start with the tournament itself
And dear God, it's set to be massive.
The organisers recently increased the limit to 68 teams of six to nine people each, which means there will definitely be over 400 people playing, and probably more if some teams have over six players. And that's not including the spectators and people interested in alcohol in the sun.
While Slam Tilt want to stress that the main aim for this tournament is to have fun and socialise, there will still be opportunities for you and your team to earn some prizes. Winning the tournament will obviously be a prize-worthy feat, however the more creative people still have a chance to compete.
Rewards will also be given out for the best costume - because yes, you are encouraged to bring your wackiest outfits - and for the best team name, and coming from someone who has seen some of the names chosen, Maltese people have naming skills that rival that of Boaty McBoatface.
My personal favourites are We Will Block You, Sets on the Beach and XARUKAZA, for all the people who will mutter that when things don't go their way. Other golden examples include Ay Caramb-ass, Balutta BayWatch, Inglorious Dusters and Oh Balls! Clearly, picking a winner is going to be one very tough job.
Oh, and I shall be using these names as an excuse to throw you some more Volleyball puns, you're welcome.
Much musical madness
Music will be playing all throughout the tournament, so people can dance away the time in between their matches.
At around 3pm, after the final match, DJ Poldan T will take to the stage to liven up the afternoon, so make sure you're ready to dance!
Who will be participating?
Well, unlike most sporting events, this one is not only aimed at super-athletic men with bodies that can grate cheese.
Of course those guys are perfectly welcome (with or without their shirts), but the organisers want to keep this event as lighthearted and inclusive as possible. There will be no referees, all judgements will be made by a fair team captain, and people of all skill levels and genders are encouraged to join in the fun.
"Everyone over 18 can participate in the tournament and there is absolutely no limit on how bad you can be," the organisers explained on the official Facebook event page. "There must be at least one female in the team playing at all time."
This Volley Fest is going down on Saturday 11th May at 10am at Golden Bay so be sure to get your tickets ASAP!
And to those of you who, like me, have the skin tone of a beluga whale and burn quicker than eggs on a stove (or who just don't enjoy large social interactions), the event will be livestreamed on Twitch!