Fireworks are a very common sight during Malta’s summers, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for a big surprise every now and then. And that’s exactly what’s being planned for Valletta this Thursday.
Celebrating Sette Giugno as part of the Pageant of the Seas spectacle, numerous activities will be taking place in the Grand Harbour amongst which is a pyrotechnic jizzfest organised by the Għaqda tan-Nar Santa Katerina Żurrieq.
The stunning scene, as always, is already set.
We are calling it a jizzfest because that’s literally what it is.
Say hello to the largest firework ball ever made on our islands.
It will make its debut during the Sette Giugno celebrations, and people have been working on it for the last year.
This giant, 560 kilogram ball of fireworks has 500 baby firework eggs inside it — just like that pregnant spider which had taken up residence in your car that one time (sorry for the PTSD).
The only difference is that when this baby explodes, there’s going to be less screaming and panicking and more jubilant applause and Instagram uploads.
The display starts at around 11pm, and the big-ass, 53-inch diameter baby will of course be closing it all off in style.
The pageant will also include a re-enactment of a sexy spy swim, where hundreds of people will be crossing the harbour… sans bombs and enemy ships trying to shoot them down, that is.
There will also be the Tellieqa Telliqun, an activity where different teams will race across the Grand Harbour using their own homemade boats without the use of traditional oars or motors.
In other words, Malta will finally get its very own, aptly nautical, version of Wacky Races. #DreamsComeTrue
A sailing boat show, a regatta race and Walk the Plank will also be part of this amazing event. So yeah, it’s going to be pretty unmissable.
The Valletta Pageant of the Seas is supported by Yachting Malta, AFM, Malta Tourism Authority, Walk the Plant, Malta Film Commission, Heritage Malta, Morgan Cruises, Arts Council Malta and Valletta 2018.