16 Things We Wore As Teenagers That Were Fucking Absurd

The noughties were a shameful time for anyone who enjoyed looking good. And if you were an awkward teenager growing up among all this, you didn’t stand a chance. Below are the 16 most criminally offensive garments we all wore.

1. Parachute pants with flailing tassels

Any cyclist’s nightmare. Also a nightmare for anyone with eyes.

2. Chains to hang off our trousers

In other words: Jeans Jewelry. How did we let this happen?

3. Circle belts

Which just sat there, atop layered t-shirts and baggy cargo pants.

4. Charity wristbands

Favourites being The Red Cross, LIVESTRONG and the ones that said random buzzwords like ‘STRENGTH’ and ‘HOPE’ on them. You were extra cool if you wore them all the way up the arm. 

5. Ties over anything except actual shirts

The mullets of clothes, business in the front, party in the back. 

6. Mohawks

Because nothing says ‘look at my bald head’ like a line of vertical hair.

7. Coloured O’Neills

Whereas some people would argue that normal O’Neills warrant a slot on this list, the baby blues, pinks and even red kinds took the biscuit.

8. Studded belts

With the buckle worn on the hip, obviously.

9. Farmers’ caps

This confused the public, as these tweed beauties were usually worn by elderly men trying to keep their scalps from burning while out in the sun. Then all of a sudden MTV calls them trendy? It’s hard to keep up.

10. Coloured sunglasses

Black lenses were just not a thing, and neither was protection from the sun, apparently. Anastasia was the true icon of this style.

11. Denim on denim on denim on denim etc

Sure double denim is a thing again, but hopefully we’ll never see the painful looks that haunted our past.

12. Shit highlights

Whether it was zebra stripes on ladies or frosted tips on guys, we all got it wrong. 

13. Puka Shell necklaces

People would come home from holidays with suitcases full of these, because they knew they’d break in no time and needed a replacement.

14. Boleros

Honestly, what the fuck was their purpose?

15. Collars on collars on collars

Making it rain with Abercrombie polos. Pop that shit, bro!

16. These ridiculous trousers that were too big for everyone

But, to be fair, mums loved them because you were never ever going to grow out of them

Tag a friend who used to dress like this. 

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