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6 Things You Swore Would Never Happen To You As A Maltese Adult (But Here We Are)

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They say youth is wasted on the young, but what about their unbridled enthusiasm? When we’re growing up we often feel like we’ll be the catalysts of change, we’ll never be like our parents and we swear we’ll stay young forever.

Well, times change. While we may do things differently there’s some situations we were sure we’d never find ourselves in… but here we are.

1. Pastizzi make you sick

Being able to hold down more than two pastizzi without needing to barf? Now that’s the ultimate #TBT. You still love the taste, duh, but you can’t shovel them like you used to. If you do, you’ve got a date with the toilet in approximately five minutes.

2. You drive like an asshole

The first few years after your test you drive like a saint. People who cut you off are the bane of your existence and why don’t Maltese people ever follow the rules at a roundabout.

Now, almost a decade on, you’ve become the person you feared. You barely slow down at a stop sign and moving your hand to switch on an indicator is just too much work. You may still pretend you’re an upstanding driver, but if you give a ride to someone still learning, you’ll quickly see them changing colours.

3. And all you speak about is parking

  • “Do you know how close I parked today? It’s such a good day.”
  • “OMG I have to park a literal six-minute walk away. It’s crazy.”
  • “Look there’s an empty space there! And there!! When did everyone leave?”

Have you said any of these in the past few days? Congrats – you’re an adult! Your life is a series of missed parking opportunities and cramps from driving around in circles. 

4. You’re bored of Paceville

Remember the rush of adrenaline you’d feel when you smelt the mixture of sweat, cigarettes and RedBull? The night was young and you could do anything or anyone and so many nights were spent wrapped in the sticky embrace of PV.

But now the idea of spending any time there sends a shiver up your spine. Everyone is so young and so aggressive… and how do they stay out dancing past 2:00am? It’s an enigma you’d rather not crack.

5. You managed to shrink your clothes in the wash

You were sure this was the sort of shit that only happens in the movies, but as you pull out the now-even-skinnier jeans from the washing machine, you time you wasted not learning basic life skills.

6. You never meet your friends anymore

When you’re younger you think it’s impossible to not bump into the people you love in Malta. You’re all so close (physically and emotionally) and there’s only so many places you can hang out. Well, you were wrong. Meeting friends as an adult takes time and work – and while it’s super worth the pay off you feel so naive for believing it would always be as easy as it was at uni.

Tag a friend you wish you hung out with more often

READ NEXT: 7 Ways You Know You’re Getting Old In Malta

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