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Too-Many-Friends Problems That Ruin Your Life In Malta

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Everyone needs friends for a quick chat/pick-me-up/round of tequila. But what happens when you’re friends with a quarter of the country’s population? This. Every fucking day. 

1. Not being able to go to the grocer without a full makeover

And preparing your stream of ‘Hi, how are you’s?” that you hope nobody will actually stop and answer.

2. Not being able to organise a birthday party without offending 150 of your ‘besties’

You can either invite your two closest, or 200 close friends. There is no in between.

3. Having 700 ikliet for Christmas

And an infinite number of junk-mail Secret Santa invitations.

Fat Cat

You, probably.

4. Not being able to just sit at a coffee shop and work 

It’s worse than being in an open-plan office with another 50 co-workers.

5. Never being able to enjoy outdoor me-time

At least not without hearing a constant stream of “you’re alone?!”.

6. Spending all your life savings every wedding season

You’re not gonna give Tina less than you gave Sarah are you?!

Also You Probably

Also you, probably.

7. Spending a week calling everyone to update them about your new relationship

And feeling shit when you have to do the same after a breakup, just in case they find out from someone else before. 

8. Tinder is a no-go

Or your Whatsapp groups will flare up with screenshots of your sensitive side.

9. And your 14 Whatsapp threads are constantly blaring

Whatsapp never stops. And what’s worse is that you can’t share your killer joke with multiple groups cos there’s always a common friend when you don’t want one. 


Definitely you.

10. Already knowing everybody at your networking event  

And leaving exhausted because you spent the whole time introducing mutual friends to each other.

11. Flashing your car lights five times during every 10-minute drive

You’ve got to acknowledge you’ve seen them or you know they’re gonna call you a snob.

12. Spending every other second making or cancelling plans

And every moment between that is spent explaining why you’ve made or cancelled plans with someone else.

Sorry Not

You, being sassy just before the guilt hits.

13. Not being able to date anyone without offending a friend

Bro code is cool, but not when you’re bros with a measurable percentage of the population.

14. Spending your whole life feeling like a bad friend

Try as you might you’re bound to have let someone down – it’s pure statistics.

Bonus: Pretending you love quiet time, but being offended you weren’t invited places

I mean, I have a really good book waiting for me at home but I’d have liked the chance to say no, Sarah!

How Dare You

If you understand the pain, share this post with all 500 of your friends (and 2000 close acquaintances).

READ NEXT: 7 Weird Gifts Your Maltese Friends Will Love

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