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5 Ways We’re Totally Hypocritical As A Nation

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Look, nobody’s perfect. Well, okay – Beyoncé is pretty close
to perfection, but I’m pretty sure that the Queen has her off days too. Still, the
point is this – we all make mistakes, and sometimes we need a gentle nudge (read: bracing reality check) to help us realise that we fucked up.

Maybe you said something you didn’t mean
after that third mojito, or perhaps you did mean it but you’re feeling a
little guilty and it’s totally interfering with your beauty sleep. No matter
what it may be, one thing’s for sure: we love a
spot of hypocrisy here in Malta.

Disclaimer:

1. Quddies at 7, gossip session at 8:01

Translation: Church at 7, gossip session at 8:01

Now before y’all grab your pitchforks, torches, and holy
water, let me say that this doesn’t apply to all practicing Catholics here in
Malta, just the slightly naughty ones – and you know who you are. What
would your friendly neighbourhood priest say if he heard you talking shit about
your second cousin’s new girlfriend? Tsk, tsk.

2. “Welcome to sunny Malta!” vs “Go bekk to ur kuntri”

As a nation, we’re pretty warm and welcoming to anyone
visiting our little slice of the Mediterranean – I mean, tourism is a big moneymaker
right? While the majority of us Maltesers are lovely and excited to share
everything there is to know about the virtues of our fair home, there are still
some nasties around (we’re sorry about those). Despite our very rich
cultural heritage, some individuals are not just intolerant, but
downright awful to people who have different coloured skin, follow a
non-Christian religion, or show their ‘otherness’ in some other way (like having a foreign surname *ahem*).

3. The Eurovision

There are three types of people in the world: people who love Eurovision, people who love to hate Eurovision, and liars. You know who
you are. Year after year you talk about how much you don’t care about the
Eurovision, but when you’re alone you’re secretly rooting for Malta to win like
it’s 2002 and Ira Losco is your 7th Wonder blowing glitter out of her hand.

4. “Malta sucks” vs “Nobody talks shit about my island”

Yeah we might complain about the heat, the traffic, the
government, the roads, and basically anything under the (burning hot) sun – but
it’s our construction-ridden island and we’re the only ones allowed to
throw shade at it, okay? Thanks. Enjoy the Kinnie.

5. Pioneer of equal rights vs. Medieval Malta

One of the touchier subjects, but necessary. Malta recently
made history by legalising gay marriage (yay!), and we’re next level proud
about this HUGE leap forward.

Now we just need the rest of the issues to catch up; it’s a little awkward when you realise we’re blazing trails in the fight for equality while also demonising and shaming women for things like wanting to buy the morning after pill (some pharmacists still refuse to sell it) or wearing a dress that you think is too short or too tight. Check yo’self.

Tag a friend who’s a perfect example of one of these!

READ NEXT: 7 Typically Maltese Habits We Just Can’t Shake Off As A Nation

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